hearts and roses
Mind Reader
That's it. lol.
difficult child dumped Monkeyboy. In a last ditch effort, I took a stab at discussing her plans to move to NH with monkeyboy. She asked if I was going to be mad when she left. I said "No. I will not be mad. I will be sad, disappointed and worried, but not mad." I asked her if I could just point out a couple of things and she said yes. So I just pointed out how difficult it will be to move far from everyone and everything she knows without money, a job, or a car. I pointed out that I've done it and it's not easy to get by without anyone to at least lean on during such difficult times. I asked her what she would do when monkeyboy throws a tantrum (as he is prone to do) - where will she go to get away from him, who will she lean on? How will she eat, where will she sleep, how will she get blankets and a pillow, where will she do her laundry, what if she gets ill, how will she get her BC, etc. And then I finished up with, "I love you and I understand this is your choice. You can do what ever you want. We will not try to dissuade you or stop you. I will probably even give you a little 'mad money' just in case you want to catch a bus home. But this is your life and you get to choose how you want to live and with whom. I just want you to think of those few things because they are REALLY VERY IMPORTANT. So then she asked if we could at least go out to dinner before she left. Sure.
So a whole day and a half goes by and she comes to me and says, "I have to tell you something"...
"I've thought about what you said and I DO want to go to school in the fall and I do realize that boyfriend has made me lose all my friends and I DO want to stay here and get a job and I DO want to get a car. And I do not think I want to go out with boyfriend anymore because he's such a drama queen (look who's calling the kettle black - I almost smirked when she said this). And he makes me feel guilty all the time and he's constantly telling me he can't trust me and he grabs my arm when he's mad and I feel like I have no one except you and stepdad and him and that makes me so mad. I am tired of crying and lying to him about who I hang out with and I just want to be free to hang out with my friends without lying about it. Everytime I hang out with a friend - one he doesn't want me to, which is all of them - he hangs it over my head and tells me he can't trust me. And I don't get why he can't work here. And his family is NUTS." There was more, but why go on?
Well, that was a lot to digest, but I did manage a, "Well, difficult child, it sounds like you've been doing a lot of thinking. I'm glad to see such mature behavior from you and I"m happy that you've been able to make some decisions for yourself and future. Let's share this info with stepdad, ok?" So we went and told H and he said, "Good. That's very good, difficult child."
So, there were no fireworks and gasps. Inside maybe, but you know, it's hard to get excited. I AM VERY GLAD THAT MONKEYBOY IS OUT OF THE PICTURE NOW THOUGH. He stormed over here yesterday and she took him out to the patio and told him it was over. He cried a cried...it was pretty sad, but my H says, "He can't help it - he's a crybaby. If he doesn't get his way, he throws a temper tantrum - just like difficult child!"
But I tell you, you should have seen difficult child. She just sat there, cool as a cucumber, slowly smoking her cigarette as he leaned over sobbing into his hat. It was almost a little alarming at how cold she seemed...I called her the Black Widow and my mom (who forgets everything 5 minutes later) said, "Good! It's better to do it cold and calculated and be strong about it - she ought to learn it now, because he won't be the last jerk she will have to dump, that's for sure!" O.M.G, MOM!!! Hahahahaha
Anyway, I think that chapter is over. She is going for a job interview at a local factory today where one of her old friend's works. I am keeping a good thought that she gets hired. Apparently, they do the application, interview and hiring all on the same appointment, so, hopefully by this afternoon, difficult child will be employed. It's a start.
difficult child dumped Monkeyboy. In a last ditch effort, I took a stab at discussing her plans to move to NH with monkeyboy. She asked if I was going to be mad when she left. I said "No. I will not be mad. I will be sad, disappointed and worried, but not mad." I asked her if I could just point out a couple of things and she said yes. So I just pointed out how difficult it will be to move far from everyone and everything she knows without money, a job, or a car. I pointed out that I've done it and it's not easy to get by without anyone to at least lean on during such difficult times. I asked her what she would do when monkeyboy throws a tantrum (as he is prone to do) - where will she go to get away from him, who will she lean on? How will she eat, where will she sleep, how will she get blankets and a pillow, where will she do her laundry, what if she gets ill, how will she get her BC, etc. And then I finished up with, "I love you and I understand this is your choice. You can do what ever you want. We will not try to dissuade you or stop you. I will probably even give you a little 'mad money' just in case you want to catch a bus home. But this is your life and you get to choose how you want to live and with whom. I just want you to think of those few things because they are REALLY VERY IMPORTANT. So then she asked if we could at least go out to dinner before she left. Sure.
So a whole day and a half goes by and she comes to me and says, "I have to tell you something"...
"I've thought about what you said and I DO want to go to school in the fall and I do realize that boyfriend has made me lose all my friends and I DO want to stay here and get a job and I DO want to get a car. And I do not think I want to go out with boyfriend anymore because he's such a drama queen (look who's calling the kettle black - I almost smirked when she said this). And he makes me feel guilty all the time and he's constantly telling me he can't trust me and he grabs my arm when he's mad and I feel like I have no one except you and stepdad and him and that makes me so mad. I am tired of crying and lying to him about who I hang out with and I just want to be free to hang out with my friends without lying about it. Everytime I hang out with a friend - one he doesn't want me to, which is all of them - he hangs it over my head and tells me he can't trust me. And I don't get why he can't work here. And his family is NUTS." There was more, but why go on?
Well, that was a lot to digest, but I did manage a, "Well, difficult child, it sounds like you've been doing a lot of thinking. I'm glad to see such mature behavior from you and I"m happy that you've been able to make some decisions for yourself and future. Let's share this info with stepdad, ok?" So we went and told H and he said, "Good. That's very good, difficult child."
So, there were no fireworks and gasps. Inside maybe, but you know, it's hard to get excited. I AM VERY GLAD THAT MONKEYBOY IS OUT OF THE PICTURE NOW THOUGH. He stormed over here yesterday and she took him out to the patio and told him it was over. He cried a cried...it was pretty sad, but my H says, "He can't help it - he's a crybaby. If he doesn't get his way, he throws a temper tantrum - just like difficult child!"
But I tell you, you should have seen difficult child. She just sat there, cool as a cucumber, slowly smoking her cigarette as he leaned over sobbing into his hat. It was almost a little alarming at how cold she seemed...I called her the Black Widow and my mom (who forgets everything 5 minutes later) said, "Good! It's better to do it cold and calculated and be strong about it - she ought to learn it now, because he won't be the last jerk she will have to dump, that's for sure!" O.M.G, MOM!!! Hahahahaha
Anyway, I think that chapter is over. She is going for a job interview at a local factory today where one of her old friend's works. I am keeping a good thought that she gets hired. Apparently, they do the application, interview and hiring all on the same appointment, so, hopefully by this afternoon, difficult child will be employed. It's a start.
, WAY TO GO!
