:warrior:Still have on my armour!!! He came in around 3 this afternoon. He said he had been staying with "Barbie" (that name just makes a mom chringe!) and he hasn't really had time to call.
I was very straightforward, I said either live by our houserules or you can live somewhere else! He got defensive, I got a little louder and repeated myself. He cocked his little attitude that I usually back down to. (he lays a guilt trip on me and I question myself and feel guilty and let him get away with it) :warrior:
I said "It's my house and I don't have to let you stay here!" He turned 18 in the rehab and I have never said to him before. He didn't leave, he stayed in his room a long time and when he finally came out it was spotless! Haven't seen that in a long time.
I also let him know that he only had a couple of presents under the tree. I think he was shocked! I said "Son, you were supposed to be home 4 days ago, if you had been here you would have gone shopping with us to get your clothes & things for christmas"
I know it sounds harsh, but I have struggled with this a while.
easy child has done all that is expected of her, and we have awarded her for that. She has gotten most everything she wanted. instead of wrapping everything like usual we took her out shopping to get most of the things so christmas morniong there won't be a drastic difference in his gifts and hers.
They have always gotten equal gifts. We talked to her about this, she was concerned for her brother's feelings, we explained the past yr of heartaches(she suffered as much as us!) we explained her helping at my shop when asked, grades, helping at home, etc. I also explained how everytime her brother ran away or disappeared when he showed back up and was sent to jail,Residential Treatment Center (RTC),grouphome,jail,rehab I had to always furnish him with new clothes because he would leave with all his stuff and come home with the shirt on his back. I said all in all I have spent much more on him trying to help him than I have you.
I was very straightforward, I said either live by our houserules or you can live somewhere else! He got defensive, I got a little louder and repeated myself. He cocked his little attitude that I usually back down to. (he lays a guilt trip on me and I question myself and feel guilty and let him get away with it) :warrior:
I said "It's my house and I don't have to let you stay here!" He turned 18 in the rehab and I have never said to him before. He didn't leave, he stayed in his room a long time and when he finally came out it was spotless! Haven't seen that in a long time.
I also let him know that he only had a couple of presents under the tree. I think he was shocked! I said "Son, you were supposed to be home 4 days ago, if you had been here you would have gone shopping with us to get your clothes & things for christmas"
I know it sounds harsh, but I have struggled with this a while.
easy child has done all that is expected of her, and we have awarded her for that. She has gotten most everything she wanted. instead of wrapping everything like usual we took her out shopping to get most of the things so christmas morniong there won't be a drastic difference in his gifts and hers.
They have always gotten equal gifts. We talked to her about this, she was concerned for her brother's feelings, we explained the past yr of heartaches(she suffered as much as us!) we explained her helping at my shop when asked, grades, helping at home, etc. I also explained how everytime her brother ran away or disappeared when he showed back up and was sent to jail,Residential Treatment Center (RTC),grouphome,jail,rehab I had to always furnish him with new clothes because he would leave with all his stuff and come home with the shirt on his back. I said all in all I have spent much more on him trying to help him than I have you.
