Mattsmom277
Active Member
What a great thread!!!!! I'm do happy for her (and you!!) and I sincerely hope that this is the right place at the right time for the right reasons for her. I hope you are sleeping a much more peaceful sleep.
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PatriotsGirl
Guest
Thank you ALL!!! Okay - further info:
The other girlfriend ended up leaving (I didn't see her huffing and puffing out of there). difficult child came out renewed as much as I hate to say it. A hole is thrilled that she is in treatment and she told him she would write him since she didn't know when she would make it back out there. He told her that he is on the straight and narrow and wants to attend rehab himself. Considering it was a drug charge he was hit with, rehab could very well be an option for him. He is trying to get a bond hearing so he can enter rehab. I hope he is serious, too. I can support that. She came out even more determined to attend treatment. She even cleaned out all of her paraphenalia and seemed happy to say goodbye to it all. I was all too happy to get rid of it - lots of needles.
Again, the program is not the Ritz Carlton. It is a block of apartments in a gated community and there are about 6 - 7 people per apartment. The woman that runs the program told me that difficult child talked to them for about three hours when she went there the first time. Three hours! I had no idea. At the time, I thought she was just looking for a hide out. Again, the love I felt there was just beyond belief. The love and protectiveness they had for each other was amazing. There was a man that was leaving the program early and the others were very upset about it. What I think difficult child likes about it is that it is not in a hospital/clinical setting. When we went to the other "rehab" yesterday, I got a cold feeling - not that anyone really cared at all. Very impersonal. This place was so different. So personal.
I am convinced God led us there. First she went to court and ran into this old friend that just happened to need a ride several towns away to a rehab that difficult child falls in love with. I dissuade her and say we would find a cheaper place or something that insurance covers. A hole goes to jail, we end up there yesterday and I feel it is perfect for difficult child. Had I entered her in there before, I think she would have left to be with A hole. Now with him locked up, she can't just run to him. It is a perfect situation.
She was so grateful, so loving, and so sweet. I had the best day with her yesterday and couldn't ask for more right now....I have a very happy mommy heart but I am so scared something will happen and my hopes will be dashed yet again and yet again, husband will be proven right. She seems determined to prove him wrong. She is so stubborn, I hope she does.
The other girlfriend ended up leaving (I didn't see her huffing and puffing out of there). difficult child came out renewed as much as I hate to say it. A hole is thrilled that she is in treatment and she told him she would write him since she didn't know when she would make it back out there. He told her that he is on the straight and narrow and wants to attend rehab himself. Considering it was a drug charge he was hit with, rehab could very well be an option for him. He is trying to get a bond hearing so he can enter rehab. I hope he is serious, too. I can support that. She came out even more determined to attend treatment. She even cleaned out all of her paraphenalia and seemed happy to say goodbye to it all. I was all too happy to get rid of it - lots of needles.
Again, the program is not the Ritz Carlton. It is a block of apartments in a gated community and there are about 6 - 7 people per apartment. The woman that runs the program told me that difficult child talked to them for about three hours when she went there the first time. Three hours! I had no idea. At the time, I thought she was just looking for a hide out. Again, the love I felt there was just beyond belief. The love and protectiveness they had for each other was amazing. There was a man that was leaving the program early and the others were very upset about it. What I think difficult child likes about it is that it is not in a hospital/clinical setting. When we went to the other "rehab" yesterday, I got a cold feeling - not that anyone really cared at all. Very impersonal. This place was so different. So personal.
I am convinced God led us there. First she went to court and ran into this old friend that just happened to need a ride several towns away to a rehab that difficult child falls in love with. I dissuade her and say we would find a cheaper place or something that insurance covers. A hole goes to jail, we end up there yesterday and I feel it is perfect for difficult child. Had I entered her in there before, I think she would have left to be with A hole. Now with him locked up, she can't just run to him. It is a perfect situation.
She was so grateful, so loving, and so sweet. I had the best day with her yesterday and couldn't ask for more right now....I have a very happy mommy heart but I am so scared something will happen and my hopes will be dashed yet again and yet again, husband will be proven right. She seems determined to prove him wrong. She is so stubborn, I hope she does.
Calamity Jane
Well-Known Member
Congratulations, PG!
She is in the right place at the right time. She has loving support from you and the staff, and dare I say it...encouragement from a-hole (maybe one day he'll earn a new name!), so the rest is up to her. It will be tough, but with God's help, if she really wants this, she'll find a way to make it work. I'm so happy for you!
She is in the right place at the right time. She has loving support from you and the staff, and dare I say it...encouragement from a-hole (maybe one day he'll earn a new name!), so the rest is up to her. It will be tough, but with God's help, if she really wants this, she'll find a way to make it work. I'm so happy for you!
T
toughlovin
Guest
Pg i am so glad for you! Sounds like she is serious and doing this for her. I think it says a lot that she detoxed herself!
TL
TL
I hope she does too PG. Yet I understand your husband because mine felt much the same. Not that husband didn't support her recovery effort because he did, financially and emotionally and physically, but in his heart he worried a lot.
I believe things happened the way they did for a reason and I agree that she is ready this time and all the pieces fit. You reminded me how hopeful I felt when difficult child entered the sober house and the love I saw her surrounded with. It warmed my heart and want that so much for her. You are an awesome mom, she knows you love and support her and she wants to make it. The road is not easy but she can do it and we are all pulling for her.
Sleep well these days,
Nancy
I believe things happened the way they did for a reason and I agree that she is ready this time and all the pieces fit. You reminded me how hopeful I felt when difficult child entered the sober house and the love I saw her surrounded with. It warmed my heart and want that so much for her. You are an awesome mom, she knows you love and support her and she wants to make it. The road is not easy but she can do it and we are all pulling for her.
Sleep well these days,
Nancy
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PatriotsGirl
Guest
That just had me laughing so hard!!! She told me he was concerned about what I thought of him after his arrest. He was concerned that I would think he is a bad person. She claims it is her fault that he is in there. We were all telling her she cannot force anyone to do anything...
I will support him if he supports difficult child getting sober and does the same himself. Maybe, just maybe, then he will earn another name...lol. They have now been together a year. Her longest relationship ever. She tells me she is going to marry him one day...ugh.
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PatriotsGirl
Guest
Exactly - the hospital type rehab that we first went to said there is no detox for crystal meth so they were going to put her directly into the halfway house on site. For almost 600 a week!!! I still cannot believe that. The new place was 175 to get in and that covers your first week and then 145 a week after. They are helping her apply for foodstamps today so she can contribute to the groceries. I purchased some groceries for her last night. And what I like is, if I pay for a week and she leaves the day after, we are refunded for the days she didn't stay. And if I am so unfortunate to pay for six weeks - well, that is a good thing because it means she is still there.
PG, I am so thrilled for you and difficult child. This thread and your experience represented, to me, the best part of being a part of this "community" .......while you were going through your day yesterday, many of us were right there with you, waiting for each of your posts to see what happened, praying for you, holding your hand, soothing your worried heart, cheering for difficult child, (perhaps silently cursing out a-hole) walking through each step with you and knowing just what you were feeling because many of us have been in those exact shoes. I know when I read the post where she was finally safely tucked away, I could almost hear a collective sigh of relief from every Mom here. I think we all slept better knowing one of "our" difficult child's was safe and getting the help she wants and needs.
I totally agree that this was all fated, she was meant to be there and with her determination, your love and all the caring, supportive wishes of everyone here, your difficult child has a remarkable opportunity to turn her young life around. You did a fabulous job PG, I hope you get to rest now and just know that you rose to the occasion for your daughter and now you can really relax and find some peace. We are proud of you and proud of difficult child too. YAY!!!
I totally agree that this was all fated, she was meant to be there and with her determination, your love and all the caring, supportive wishes of everyone here, your difficult child has a remarkable opportunity to turn her young life around. You did a fabulous job PG, I hope you get to rest now and just know that you rose to the occasion for your daughter and now you can really relax and find some peace. We are proud of you and proud of difficult child too. YAY!!!
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PatriotsGirl
Guest
That just made my cry....again. I have been doing a lot of that the past two days. But good tears! You were all the first people I wanted to share with and always the first people I want to update. This place and all of you have been such a rock for me for over two years now. I have never loved a bunch of people I have never "met" in all my life as much as I love you all!!!
I have been doing a lot of that the past two days. But good tears! You were all the first people I wanted to share with and always the first people I want to update. This place and all of you have been such a rock for me for over two years now. I have never loved a bunch of people I have never "met" in all my life as much as I love you all!!!
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PatriotsGirl
Guest
No news is good news, right? I haven't heard from anyone. I am dying to know how she is doing, but I know it has only been a little over 24 hours...maybe I will text them later.
On another note, husband has really come around on this. Maybe because I told him about the place and the people and how difficult child really wanted to go there. I told him maybe a hospital setting wasn't the right fit for difficult child and he admitted he couldn't be locked up in a hospital, either. husband called his parents and shared the news with them. easy child is really hopeful, too.
Which makes it even worse if she leaves and doesn't finish the program, though. I wanted to wait before announcing to everyone. He said it is so rare that we have good news to share about difficult child so he wanted to give his parents some happy news. I get that, but, I am afraid it will all come crashing down...
On another note, husband has really come around on this. Maybe because I told him about the place and the people and how difficult child really wanted to go there. I told him maybe a hospital setting wasn't the right fit for difficult child and he admitted he couldn't be locked up in a hospital, either. husband called his parents and shared the news with them. easy child is really hopeful, too.
Which makes it even worse if she leaves and doesn't finish the program, though. I wanted to wait before announcing to everyone. He said it is so rare that we have good news to share about difficult child so he wanted to give his parents some happy news. I get that, but, I am afraid it will all come crashing down...
PG, I hear what you're saying........ it's so hard not to worry........ how I cope with that 'other shoe dropping' is to try very hard to stay in THIS moment, in the NOW and be grateful for the here and now. I practice every day. Sigh. Future tripping is so a part of this journey with our kids and yet practicing staying here in the present moment has kept me peaceful. Whatever happens, you can trust that you will show up for it then, but right now, enjoy this reprieve you have and practice staying right here. It gets easier and it works. Today, she is safe, she is working her program, you don't need to worry, you don't need to do ANYTHING, just rest and enjoy all the moments...............It's wonderful that husband has come around and is sharing good news with the family. .......and if something weird happens, we'll be here for you...........but today, .......no worries..........(((HUGS))))
P
PatriotsGirl
Guest
I suppose we need to take it one day at a time like they do.
Thanks!! We are leaving for a weekend trip to Gatlinburg tomorrow and I told difficult child it will be the best trip because I will have peace of mind knowing that she is where she needs to be. husband actually got upset with me when I mentioned the cost last night, so he really has done a complete turn around. He said he isn't concerned about the cost, he just didn't want it to be for nothing. I understand that, but we both agreed we had to try. Especially since the other two "rehabs" were hospitals and short term - this is the first real residential program she has been in. And this is one she picked out and asked to go to - he stressed that to his parents so I think he really thought about it yesterday and agreed we absolutely did the right thing. I think I will enjoy this feeling right now and stop worrying about the what ifs...My husband was much the same too, it was up to me to find her a placement and he was pretty much hands off until we finally got everything settled and then he too began to feel hopeful. I think for him it was his way of compartmentalizing it until he felt better that it was really happening. I didn't tell our families for a couple weeks, so afraid it would end like every other try, but then I had to share because I needed the support. Don't think about the what if's just enjoy the peace knowing she is where she should be and getting help.
Just one word of caution, we never told difficult child if we were doing anything or going anywhere while she was in rehab. Too much of a temptation for her to think she could get away wirth something.
Nancy
Just one word of caution, we never told difficult child if we were doing anything or going anywhere while she was in rehab. Too much of a temptation for her to think she could get away wirth something.
Nancy
T
toughlovin
Guest
Yes just take this time to really rest up, sleep well and have fun knowing that at least for now she is safe. When I was away this summer I was able to have a fabulous and relaxing trip because I knew at least difficult child was safe. That was such a gift and it was so good for me to really get away and not worry about him, and being so far away I was albe to really let go in a way I had not done before. So even though 2 days before the trip ended he walked out.... that time of rest fun and relaxation was so so good for me. So no matter what happens enjoy this time while you can!!!
TL
TL
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PatriotsGirl
Guest
I texted the house senior asking how difficult child was doing and was told she is doing great!!! Happy mommy....
Mattsmom277
Active Member
That's fantastic. That the person said she is doing great. Enjoy your weekend away. I almost want to advise you to make a pact to not once utter her name or the topic. I will instead hope that you can just enjoy your weekend away with husband without the same worries, as mentioned by everyone else. You and husband deserve it.
