Hi All,
some of you saw my postings on General this past weekend regarding next door neighbor difficult child and her claims of abuse and the stress on me and my difficult child 2 because of her reminding us of my difficult child 1. Well, on Monday night my difficult child 1 called.
She said she wanted to come home for a one week visit. She lives in Seattle, is 6 months pregnant, and just had her last day on her job (exotic dancer). She said her boyfriend and my easy child son would be going out fishing (they work on a commercial fishing boat) and she doesn't like to be alone so she thought this would be a good time to come visit.
Okay, I was not thrilled because of my past experiences with her in my home but figured a week was doable and I would like to see her and maybe it would be fun, etc. But I was feeling uneasy over the whole thing. She said she would call the next day to let me know the details--she would be buying the tickets and would let me know the plans.
She called me yesterday to say she had decided to take the bus rather than fly because they couldn't get any affordable tickets without using the internet and charging it to a credit card. I asked how much it was to take the bus and she said $212.00. I asked if that was round trip and she asked boyfriend who said it was one way.
Well, the alarms were really going off for me so I said I would have to call her back later. I talked with husband and we agreed that there must be a problem. I know her lease runs out this month so maybe she hasn't got a place to live while the guys fish? Anyway, I do know that she cannot come here with a one way ticket. She said boyfriend would send her a plane ticket "later." Yeah, like 6 months later? The baby is due in November.
So, I called her back and said, "I know you have a problem but we can't help you with the solution." She sounded confused so I spelled it out. She cannot come here and stay. She said, "it's only for a week." I don't remember what I said but let her know I didn't believe that was the real plan. She said, "okay, I won't come at all then, goodbye" and hung up. My husband says now we have to get ready for round two because he figures they will concoct some other story to try to get us to help them.
I hate this--I hate not being able to trust her and being suspicious and not being able to just let her come for a week. I wish she would be upfront about what is going on but she never is. She presents us with a picture of her life that is all fine and good until she has a problem.
My husband says it is just the same old thing and I think he's right. He says, "boyfriend knocked her up, let him take responsibility." If you knew my nerdy husband you would be shocked to hear those words come out of his mouth. He is absolutely right though. I think boyfriend sees us as the solution to their problems and for some reason he thinks we can't learn from our past mistakes of giving them assistance.
Okay, gotta go but thanks for listening!
Jane
some of you saw my postings on General this past weekend regarding next door neighbor difficult child and her claims of abuse and the stress on me and my difficult child 2 because of her reminding us of my difficult child 1. Well, on Monday night my difficult child 1 called.
She said she wanted to come home for a one week visit. She lives in Seattle, is 6 months pregnant, and just had her last day on her job (exotic dancer). She said her boyfriend and my easy child son would be going out fishing (they work on a commercial fishing boat) and she doesn't like to be alone so she thought this would be a good time to come visit.
Okay, I was not thrilled because of my past experiences with her in my home but figured a week was doable and I would like to see her and maybe it would be fun, etc. But I was feeling uneasy over the whole thing. She said she would call the next day to let me know the details--she would be buying the tickets and would let me know the plans.
She called me yesterday to say she had decided to take the bus rather than fly because they couldn't get any affordable tickets without using the internet and charging it to a credit card. I asked how much it was to take the bus and she said $212.00. I asked if that was round trip and she asked boyfriend who said it was one way.
Well, the alarms were really going off for me so I said I would have to call her back later. I talked with husband and we agreed that there must be a problem. I know her lease runs out this month so maybe she hasn't got a place to live while the guys fish? Anyway, I do know that she cannot come here with a one way ticket. She said boyfriend would send her a plane ticket "later." Yeah, like 6 months later? The baby is due in November.
So, I called her back and said, "I know you have a problem but we can't help you with the solution." She sounded confused so I spelled it out. She cannot come here and stay. She said, "it's only for a week." I don't remember what I said but let her know I didn't believe that was the real plan. She said, "okay, I won't come at all then, goodbye" and hung up. My husband says now we have to get ready for round two because he figures they will concoct some other story to try to get us to help them.
I hate this--I hate not being able to trust her and being suspicious and not being able to just let her come for a week. I wish she would be upfront about what is going on but she never is. She presents us with a picture of her life that is all fine and good until she has a problem.
My husband says it is just the same old thing and I think he's right. He says, "boyfriend knocked her up, let him take responsibility." If you knew my nerdy husband you would be shocked to hear those words come out of his mouth. He is absolutely right though. I think boyfriend sees us as the solution to their problems and for some reason he thinks we can't learn from our past mistakes of giving them assistance.
Okay, gotta go but thanks for listening!
Jane
Yep. I'd be ready for round 2. And husband is right, boyfriend can take the responsibility.
