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Difficult child with possible Borderline (BPD)/self harm
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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 750239" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>Thank you so much, RN, for your kind and caring response ! I do have spirituality and faith. I attend Al-Anon and have been through the 12 steps .</p><p></p><p>My daughter also was on Xanax and 2 other highly addictive anti anxiety medications. I am so very sorry that your son had an addiction problem. I think the last bottle she had , she was using the remaining 10 or so benzos (30 day supply which she had used over 6 months here and there) to sleep, but they are gone now, and right now, she has no more access to them. </p><p></p><p>I am very aware of substance abuse issues and will not support her getting any more prescriptions filled going forward because she is highly susceptible to addiction with the depression/anxiety/ self injury .</p><p></p><p>She is a good person, sometimes moody and rude, but nothing too major. I would say normal teen behavior, but she is 20 years old .Acts more like a teen. She has a few good friends but rarely makes plans to see them.</p><p></p><p>What greatly concerns me is her refusal to see a therapist . Her old one got dropped off our insurance, and she doesn't want to start over and is scared they will "lock her up" (her words) for her self-injury. The old therapist was not very helpful in my opinion, not solution oriented, and DC2 got worse over 3 years of therapy, not better .</p><p></p><p>Husband is in the home with us. He is 27 years clean and sober, had 5 years in NA, 20 years dry drunk, and now 2 years in AA. He is a good man, but stays out of daughter's issues . I deal with them mainly alone. I was thinking that it should be discussed as a family. He and daughter do not have the best relationship. She is very resentful of him, and doesn't want to forgive him for certain issues like yelling at her really hard when she was young when we were building our home and he was trying to keep her safe in the construction site . He has made amends for his parenting errors as part of his 12 step work but she won't accept them which she doesn't have to.</p><p></p><p>She needs help and I am trying to get through to her to be willing to work with a therapist. Any ideas? I went to the S.A.F.E website and they have an excellent free webinar for parents of self-injurers which I listened to. They have suggestions for what to say, but my daughter has dug her heels in . That site says not to use threats or force with self injurers, so I am trying to appeal to her reason .</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 750239, member: 24254"] Thank you so much, RN, for your kind and caring response ! I do have spirituality and faith. I attend Al-Anon and have been through the 12 steps . My daughter also was on Xanax and 2 other highly addictive anti anxiety medications. I am so very sorry that your son had an addiction problem. I think the last bottle she had , she was using the remaining 10 or so benzos (30 day supply which she had used over 6 months here and there) to sleep, but they are gone now, and right now, she has no more access to them. I am very aware of substance abuse issues and will not support her getting any more prescriptions filled going forward because she is highly susceptible to addiction with the depression/anxiety/ self injury . She is a good person, sometimes moody and rude, but nothing too major. I would say normal teen behavior, but she is 20 years old .Acts more like a teen. She has a few good friends but rarely makes plans to see them. What greatly concerns me is her refusal to see a therapist . Her old one got dropped off our insurance, and she doesn't want to start over and is scared they will "lock her up" (her words) for her self-injury. The old therapist was not very helpful in my opinion, not solution oriented, and DC2 got worse over 3 years of therapy, not better . Husband is in the home with us. He is 27 years clean and sober, had 5 years in NA, 20 years dry drunk, and now 2 years in AA. He is a good man, but stays out of daughter's issues . I deal with them mainly alone. I was thinking that it should be discussed as a family. He and daughter do not have the best relationship. She is very resentful of him, and doesn't want to forgive him for certain issues like yelling at her really hard when she was young when we were building our home and he was trying to keep her safe in the construction site . He has made amends for his parenting errors as part of his 12 step work but she won't accept them which she doesn't have to. She needs help and I am trying to get through to her to be willing to work with a therapist. Any ideas? I went to the S.A.F.E website and they have an excellent free webinar for parents of self-injurers which I listened to. They have suggestions for what to say, but my daughter has dug her heels in . That site says not to use threats or force with self injurers, so I am trying to appeal to her reason . [/QUOTE]
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