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Substance Abuse
Do I reach out or not?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 755723" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I could never trust my daughter's claims. And she also lived in another state. It was not as far, but I could not actually see her nor did I really want to know. The lies got to me. I am not saying your son is lying.</p><p></p><p>I would text what I call a gray response. "Thanks for the photo" or "Keep it up" or something short that does not require a response. What is the point of challenging him? Actions speak louder than words. You will find out in time what is really going on. Even if he becomes sober, that doesn't mean he deserves gifts from you. I say this only because often a claim of changing is followed by a plea for monetary help along with a manipulative threat such as "If you don't send $1000 I will lose my job" or "I am sick and can't afford a doctor." These are scare tactics that cause us to worry about the well being of our kids. They can use our love to get money. </p><p></p><p>In the end, you do what your heart tells you to do. Love is always good to send in any text in my opinion. I used to overthink my every response to everybody. Now I try, and don't always succeed, to respond with love only. Love in my opinion heals more than anything I can advise or do for others. And it helps heal me too.</p><p></p><p>I wish I had a great response for you but I try these days to take myself out of the lives of others and not add drama, even when I really want to have a say so. For me, saying too much has not worked and often puts me in the middle of places where I don't belong. Maybe a response like "Keep taking care of yourself. I love you" would feel good? We can not insist on proof that their truth is what they tell us and expect that they will deliver.</p><p></p><p>I send you blessings and hugs and hope you can find peace today. God is always with you and your loved ones. You are never alone. We are here too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 755723, member: 23706"] I could never trust my daughter's claims. And she also lived in another state. It was not as far, but I could not actually see her nor did I really want to know. The lies got to me. I am not saying your son is lying. I would text what I call a gray response. "Thanks for the photo" or "Keep it up" or something short that does not require a response. What is the point of challenging him? Actions speak louder than words. You will find out in time what is really going on. Even if he becomes sober, that doesn't mean he deserves gifts from you. I say this only because often a claim of changing is followed by a plea for monetary help along with a manipulative threat such as "If you don't send $1000 I will lose my job" or "I am sick and can't afford a doctor." These are scare tactics that cause us to worry about the well being of our kids. They can use our love to get money. In the end, you do what your heart tells you to do. Love is always good to send in any text in my opinion. I used to overthink my every response to everybody. Now I try, and don't always succeed, to respond with love only. Love in my opinion heals more than anything I can advise or do for others. And it helps heal me too. I wish I had a great response for you but I try these days to take myself out of the lives of others and not add drama, even when I really want to have a say so. For me, saying too much has not worked and often puts me in the middle of places where I don't belong. Maybe a response like "Keep taking care of yourself. I love you" would feel good? We can not insist on proof that their truth is what they tell us and expect that they will deliver. I send you blessings and hugs and hope you can find peace today. God is always with you and your loved ones. You are never alone. We are here too. [/QUOTE]
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