Do Not Disturb!

[Calamity Jane]

Glad you're OK. Just wanted to let you know that we got our home security system from an independent guy who owns a nearby shop...not one of the major companies out there, and this local business installed the system the same day we called. It was a wireless system, connected to police and fire, with remote controls attached to our keychains. We would set it even if we were home during the day, just in case. Please make that call today!

 

[buddy]

Yes CJ! A good investment for some peace of mind. Great suggestion. It seems there are lots of specials and prices are lower these days ....use your energy to negotiate! Doesn't it help with homeowners insurance too? Just a little after thought.

 

[recoveringenabler]

Good morning JKF, thanks for updating us, you were my last thought before sleep last night and my first thought this morning. I am happy to hear you are angry (!) rather then scared and that you are now taking action, this is good. Anger is an appropriate response when someone steps over that big of a line. I hope your day goes smoothly and you're able to accomplish all you set out to do. Seems you reached critical mass and now the insanity will stop. Check in later and let us know how it all went today. I will be looking for your check-in and sending you lots of good thoughts for a successful day to keep your strength and commitment and also, of course, to find some peace in the stormy sea. (((HUGS))))

 

[JKF]

Thank you CJ!! My husband is calling around right now and hopefully we can get it installed ASAP! I can't take one more sleepless night and I know it will give me some peace of mind for when this happens again.

So, I got a call from some weird # from PA this morning. I called it back and my son answered. He said he was in a cab with the girl he left with and is in trouble because he has no money to pay for his cab ride. $165!!! I told him I'm sorry but he needs to figure that out for himself. I told him that he needs to go back to the group home but he said he'd rather be homeless and hung up on me. I called the group home to let them know where he was and they called the police. I then got a call from the same # difficult child called from but this time it was the cab driver. difficult child apparently told the driver he had $400 but forgot his debit card. Total BS! He has NO money and NO debit card! I told the driver the same thing that the director at the group home told him, that he needs to take difficult child to the nearest police station immediately. I have a feeling that difficult child will wind up in the hospital now because that's what he does everytime he gets into trouble.

The good thing is that where he is in PA is 2.5 hours from us here in NJ so I don't think he can get here any time soon. It took him a day to get an hour away from the group home and he has no money or resources so I don't think he can get to us.

It's such a horrible feeling telling your child "NO I wont' help you" when he's in trouble but he did this to himself. He didn't HAVE to leave the group home. He CHOSE to knowing he had no money or any place to go. He's SO unstable and refuses to try a different medication and I don't see this behavior stopping any time soon. It's so SAD and it literally breaks my heart but I have to stay tough and stand strong. Whenever I got in BIG trouble as a kid my parents always used to say "this hurts me more than it hurts you" and that saying is so true! This really does hurt so much and I hate it!

 

[CrazyinVA]

Craziness. Yup, this is his problem to solve, not yours. Stand tough -- you're doing great!

One thing -- seems that your difficult child may try calling from other numbers to "trick" you into answering .. so keep in mind that you don't *have* to answer or call back a strange number. I know it's tempting -- but if it's an emergency, someone will leave a voice mail telling you so. I'd ignore any other calls from odd numbers.

Personally I never answer numbers I don't recognize, and I never feel compelled to return a call if someone hasn't left a voice mail. I just figure it's a wrong number, or it's not important.

 

[JKF]

CrazyinVA- I usually NEVER answer or call strange #'s but I had a feeling it was him this morn and I desperately needed some peace of mind bc I was such a train wreck last night. I'm a little better now. I've shifted from being terrified that he's coming here to worrying about where he is now and what he's doing. It seems crazy, I know, but this whole thing is so emotionally exhausting. My feelings and emotions are all over the map! I haven't heard from him at all since this morning. Last I heard from the group home was that he was at the police station in PA with the girl and cab driver at 10 am. I was tempted earlier to call the police station but I'm determined to stay out of it. He needs to learn what real life is and this is certainly a life lesson for him. Tonight I hope to sleep a little better although I have a feeling it may not be so easy. Tomorrow we are having an alarm installed and that will help me feel a little more secure. In the meantime I'm praying to god like crazy to keep my difficult child safe and get him through to the next stage in life!

Off to carve pumpkins with difficult child 2 now. It's funny - difficult child 2's issues don't even compare to difficult child 1's. At this point I'm 'almost' tempted to call difficult child 2 a easy child!!!! lol

 

[InsaneCdn]

JKF... we have a term for those kinds of kids (ones like your difficult child 2)... they are easy child/difficult child, as in, part easy child, part difficult child. In your case, probably accurate!

 

[JKF]

Yes IC! That is most definitely accurate! easy child/difficult child (formerly known as difficult child 2 lol) has some very annoying issues at times but he really is a genuinely NICE, honest, even tempered kid!

 

[JKF]

Just got a call from the group home. difficult child is in county jail in PA with a $10,000 bail. I'm speechless, heartbroken, somewhat relieved and everything in between. I'm so sad it's come to this. His bio dad has been in and out of jail for difficult child's entire life and I never wanted him to end up like this. Maybe this will be a wake up call? I just don't have words right now