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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 747814" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>Our Difficult Child child is adopted as well.</p><p>She started having symptoms very young. I would say somewhat at age 2 and certainly by age 3.</p><p>She was kicked out of several pre schools.</p><p>I guess (in a way) I had hoped G-d would be a little pleased with me for adopting, although that certainly wasn’t my reason for adopting.</p><p>Then when things were soooo very difficult for decades (and in a way, still are) I wondered if I was being punished.</p><p>I thought of every foolish thing I did in life and there were days I was sure I was being punished.</p><p>I have never tried so hard at anything in my life with such loving and pure intentions and failed so miserably.</p><p>I no longer think that I’m being punished. </p><p>On a positive note, our daughter does seem to have a good heart.</p><p>But, one can’t control another human being.</p><p>And she is very quick to turn on me.</p><p>She can and does go on tirades especially via text. And especially towards me.</p><p>i Do have some nice memories of when she was a little girl.</p><p>I have a huge repertoire of hideous memories.</p><p>Holidays gone awry.</p><p>Stress on top of stress and so forth.</p><p>Today, I’m largely detached.</p><p>It feels like a loss. How could this of happened?</p><p>But, she is mentally unwell.</p><p>I think being mentally ill plus the baggage that often comes with adoption often is a impenetrable combo.</p><p>Bottom line...for me this feels like a loss. What should of been is not. And I have moments that I’m angry and hurt. I try to be kind and patient with her, at the same time, set boundaries and remain largely detached. I will never understand the whys or fully get over it. For the most part, I’ve just accepted it as best as I can.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 747814, member: 4152"] Our Difficult Child child is adopted as well. She started having symptoms very young. I would say somewhat at age 2 and certainly by age 3. She was kicked out of several pre schools. I guess (in a way) I had hoped G-d would be a little pleased with me for adopting, although that certainly wasn’t my reason for adopting. Then when things were soooo very difficult for decades (and in a way, still are) I wondered if I was being punished. I thought of every foolish thing I did in life and there were days I was sure I was being punished. I have never tried so hard at anything in my life with such loving and pure intentions and failed so miserably. I no longer think that I’m being punished. On a positive note, our daughter does seem to have a good heart. But, one can’t control another human being. And she is very quick to turn on me. She can and does go on tirades especially via text. And especially towards me. i Do have some nice memories of when she was a little girl. I have a huge repertoire of hideous memories. Holidays gone awry. Stress on top of stress and so forth. Today, I’m largely detached. It feels like a loss. How could this of happened? But, she is mentally unwell. I think being mentally ill plus the baggage that often comes with adoption often is a impenetrable combo. Bottom line...for me this feels like a loss. What should of been is not. And I have moments that I’m angry and hurt. I try to be kind and patient with her, at the same time, set boundaries and remain largely detached. I will never understand the whys or fully get over it. For the most part, I’ve just accepted it as best as I can. [/QUOTE]
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