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Does anyone have any idea what could be going on
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 755059" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You need to get a complete workup on her. Neurological, neuropsychologist, autism screening, fetal alcohol (this needs to be done by a specialist), and especially sensory integration workup by an occupational therapist. It really sounds most like a combo of fetal alcohol and reactive attachment. Recent research shows that neglect is at least as harmful as outright abuse, if not more. The time she spends with her mother MUST be very confusing to her. I would bet some of her "nasty baby poo" type play is because that is what her mother does to her. It can also be a sign of sexual abuse. I would ask a local domestic violence agency how they evaluate very young children for sexual abuse, and then go through that. Hopefully it hasn't happened, but it can and does happen even before the age of 3. This little is so damaged it breaks my heart. It is going to be extremely hard to raise her. It may not ever be safe to have other kids or even animals in the same house with her. </p><p></p><p>Other members have seen similarly disturbed children who grow up to physically and sexually harm younger siblings (or older handicapped ones), and to have them terrorize pets. I would wait to see what the evaluations say before making any plans for too far into the future. I am NOT saying that right now she is a danger. Only you can judge that. But you are dealing with a child who seems horrifically damaged by her mother, by alcohol and severe neglect and probably other things. </p><p></p><p>You may be able to get the occupational therapy assessment sooner than the other things. There is a lovely thing about some Occupational Therapist (OT) treatments. They can help change how the brain works without usuing medications. This would be for sensory integration disorders, but it can make a big difference. It also can give you a level to meet her on - the things kids are drawn to in play are usually the things that will help them as far as sensory issues. I have sensory issues and it often feels like the world is attacking me. In so many ways - textures, lights, colors, sounds, movements. Even at 5 decades into my journey, I find sensory issues to be a challenge. Not everyone is as impacted, but I think some sensory work would help, esp with the rocking, repeating, flapping. Those are self stimulating behaviors. They create the sensory input that she needs in that moment. A sensory diet would also be an amazing thing for her. That is a range of different types of sensory input that she can experience (usually on her terms/schedule). As I said, kids usually LOVE the sensory diet and the activities that give them the sensory input they need. I had a friend who's son needed movement like he was in a swing. They outfitted their basement with swings, padding, helmets, etc... because he just needed it SO MUCH. It really helped that he could jsut go swing for 10 min. Or if he was out of hand, he could be sent to the swings for however long. </p><p></p><p>If you want to learn more about Sensory Integration Disorder, read The Out of Sych Child. Also get her book The Out of Synch Child Has Fun. The first of these is more about the disorder and what it is, how it is treated, etc... The Has Fun book is full of activities to give different types of sensory input. I went through multiple copies of this book because we wore them out. They fell apart because they were so dang much fun. If I did an outside activity, I had every kid in the neighborhood in my yard (from little ones to teens), and more than a few of their parents.</p><p></p><p>The other thing I suggest is to start a Parent Report. There is an outline in the threads at the top of the forum and in my signature. It is an outline that helps you write down everything about your child, good and not so good. It is super helpful at appointments, evaluations and it can help organize things for court.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 755059, member: 1233"] You need to get a complete workup on her. Neurological, neuropsychologist, autism screening, fetal alcohol (this needs to be done by a specialist), and especially sensory integration workup by an occupational therapist. It really sounds most like a combo of fetal alcohol and reactive attachment. Recent research shows that neglect is at least as harmful as outright abuse, if not more. The time she spends with her mother MUST be very confusing to her. I would bet some of her "nasty baby poo" type play is because that is what her mother does to her. It can also be a sign of sexual abuse. I would ask a local domestic violence agency how they evaluate very young children for sexual abuse, and then go through that. Hopefully it hasn't happened, but it can and does happen even before the age of 3. This little is so damaged it breaks my heart. It is going to be extremely hard to raise her. It may not ever be safe to have other kids or even animals in the same house with her. Other members have seen similarly disturbed children who grow up to physically and sexually harm younger siblings (or older handicapped ones), and to have them terrorize pets. I would wait to see what the evaluations say before making any plans for too far into the future. I am NOT saying that right now she is a danger. Only you can judge that. But you are dealing with a child who seems horrifically damaged by her mother, by alcohol and severe neglect and probably other things. You may be able to get the occupational therapy assessment sooner than the other things. There is a lovely thing about some Occupational Therapist (OT) treatments. They can help change how the brain works without usuing medications. This would be for sensory integration disorders, but it can make a big difference. It also can give you a level to meet her on - the things kids are drawn to in play are usually the things that will help them as far as sensory issues. I have sensory issues and it often feels like the world is attacking me. In so many ways - textures, lights, colors, sounds, movements. Even at 5 decades into my journey, I find sensory issues to be a challenge. Not everyone is as impacted, but I think some sensory work would help, esp with the rocking, repeating, flapping. Those are self stimulating behaviors. They create the sensory input that she needs in that moment. A sensory diet would also be an amazing thing for her. That is a range of different types of sensory input that she can experience (usually on her terms/schedule). As I said, kids usually LOVE the sensory diet and the activities that give them the sensory input they need. I had a friend who's son needed movement like he was in a swing. They outfitted their basement with swings, padding, helmets, etc... because he just needed it SO MUCH. It really helped that he could jsut go swing for 10 min. Or if he was out of hand, he could be sent to the swings for however long. If you want to learn more about Sensory Integration Disorder, read The Out of Sych Child. Also get her book The Out of Synch Child Has Fun. The first of these is more about the disorder and what it is, how it is treated, etc... The Has Fun book is full of activities to give different types of sensory input. I went through multiple copies of this book because we wore them out. They fell apart because they were so dang much fun. If I did an outside activity, I had every kid in the neighborhood in my yard (from little ones to teens), and more than a few of their parents. The other thing I suggest is to start a Parent Report. There is an outline in the threads at the top of the forum and in my signature. It is an outline that helps you write down everything about your child, good and not so good. It is super helpful at appointments, evaluations and it can help organize things for court. [/QUOTE]
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