What a difficult and trying situation .it sounds like your daughter might live with borderline personality disorder .The rages and violence seem to match that . I am also highly suspicious of drug use (sleeping on relative's couch) .I agree to stop the flow of any money towards her and charging her rent immediately . Selling the house and getting her out sounds like a good plan for you since you don't deserve to live with violence and destruction of your property.
As far as your son goes, I would be very concerned. That is how our troubles started : with pot. Sounds like he got immediate consequences with loss of job and that is a good lesson. They need to experience consequences for drug use. Don't give any money so he is forced to get another job or get the old job back with a clean drug screen. It is so terribly disappointing when a formerly good kid starts smoking pot. I was devastated when I found out about my son smoking pot. I am still disappointed in him for it.
