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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 752507" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Hi. I am sorry you are worried about your son. I have a very troubled daughter so I get it. I welcome you and will offer my two cents. Then you can take what you need from my words and disregard anything that you don't find helpful.</p><p></p><p> I don't know how old your son is, but if he is willing, I would take him to be evaluated by a psychiatrist or neuropsychologist. I am very sorry I didn't evaluate my daughter when she was a child and by age 13, when we wanted to do it, she didn't. In our state she could refuse psychiatric evaluations by then. We dropped the ball by waiting so long. She is 33 and never went for treatment and has long been out of our house, bit it has been a nightmare.</p><p></p><p>These are my own thoughts about your son. Now I am sort of a prude, but I would be upset if any of my kids had S&M stuff anywhere. To me that would mean that they perhaps want to harm a person during sex. The girl's clothes would not upset me as much. I am very religious yet I know that some men like to dress as woman or feel like they are women. It would break my heart and it is not in keeping with my beliefs but I would support him. It is also possible that he likes to masturbate into girls clothing. I think he is disturbed on many levels. I hope this doesn't hurt you. It is not meant to do that.</p><p></p><p>At the same time I would hope the child would get very serious therapy to help him reflect on what he really wants to do and who he really thinks he is. If my son were over 18 and did these things, along with the laziness and lack of socializing, he would either have to have therapy or not live with us. Is he using any drugs, even pot? Vaping can kill him. I would forbid it in my home. Completely.</p><p></p><p>You need to find your own comfort level with all of this. I am not you. As a mother, all the issues you brought up would concern me. I would check his computer. I don't like to snoop, but I would do it if I was trying to see how troubled my child was and how badly he needed help.</p><p></p><p>Since you have other children you know that this son is not typical. It is up to you and his father if you decide to set boundaries such as telling him he must see a psychiatrist and forcing the issue. We never did and our daughter is a mess. We are sorry we didn't have higher expectations of her.</p><p></p><p>If God is in your life, accept my prayers. I hope you can come to some agreement on how to handle your beloved son. He can't sit in his room forever. He seems very sad, maybe depressed. My heart goes out to him and yourself too. Be well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 752507, member: 23706"] Hi. I am sorry you are worried about your son. I have a very troubled daughter so I get it. I welcome you and will offer my two cents. Then you can take what you need from my words and disregard anything that you don't find helpful. I don't know how old your son is, but if he is willing, I would take him to be evaluated by a psychiatrist or neuropsychologist. I am very sorry I didn't evaluate my daughter when she was a child and by age 13, when we wanted to do it, she didn't. In our state she could refuse psychiatric evaluations by then. We dropped the ball by waiting so long. She is 33 and never went for treatment and has long been out of our house, bit it has been a nightmare. These are my own thoughts about your son. Now I am sort of a prude, but I would be upset if any of my kids had S&M stuff anywhere. To me that would mean that they perhaps want to harm a person during sex. The girl's clothes would not upset me as much. I am very religious yet I know that some men like to dress as woman or feel like they are women. It would break my heart and it is not in keeping with my beliefs but I would support him. It is also possible that he likes to masturbate into girls clothing. I think he is disturbed on many levels. I hope this doesn't hurt you. It is not meant to do that. At the same time I would hope the child would get very serious therapy to help him reflect on what he really wants to do and who he really thinks he is. If my son were over 18 and did these things, along with the laziness and lack of socializing, he would either have to have therapy or not live with us. Is he using any drugs, even pot? Vaping can kill him. I would forbid it in my home. Completely. You need to find your own comfort level with all of this. I am not you. As a mother, all the issues you brought up would concern me. I would check his computer. I don't like to snoop, but I would do it if I was trying to see how troubled my child was and how badly he needed help. Since you have other children you know that this son is not typical. It is up to you and his father if you decide to set boundaries such as telling him he must see a psychiatrist and forcing the issue. We never did and our daughter is a mess. We are sorry we didn't have higher expectations of her. If God is in your life, accept my prayers. I hope you can come to some agreement on how to handle your beloved son. He can't sit in his room forever. He seems very sad, maybe depressed. My heart goes out to him and yourself too. Be well. [/QUOTE]
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