Dont know what to think of my difficult child

[Jen]

When it rains it poors. Feeling like a major failure.

My difficult child and his wife are expecting anytime. He has 3 children from an ex fiance he does not see, but suposedly pays child support on. Never thought it could be worse than the first time around. This wife has a HS diploma, and a Beauticians liscense. Toghter they have not followed through on getting what is needed to get Medicaid insurance. Right now there is an advocate that is trying to get them to complete the paper work nec. Why this is not happening, I dont know.He was never this way with the other kids. The visits to the Doctor during the pregnancy is maybe 4, and that is stretching it. She has a dues date of beg. Feb from where they used to live, adn the end of Feb. from the place they live now. There main focus is having money, and spending what there is of it, adn going to places in other towns for mini vacations. He is so out there, adn she laughs. Really what is the chance with this record of keeping this child? Makes me sick

Jen

 

[Jen]

My son goes from preparing a place for them to stay, rent, paint, and nec. to not paying car payments for 3 months at a time, when he has his college money in the bank to pay this. Oh yeah he kept that all instead of paying us and his grandparents back. He gets a great paying job, so he says to the weirdest hours meaning, he suppose to be full time that changes from 12 hours days to nights at his disposal, not a swing shift. She sits around all the time or follows him, but they had to have 2 cars so she is not left without one, but she cant get things straightened out at Job and Family cause the SW wont take her calls or see her? She is supppose to have a cell phone while he is at work, so iuf she goes into labor, but the next minute he has it, and she can drive herself to the hospital if in labor and make calls from there to come home from work?

My son is so off the wall. We are in the midst of changing locks causew he comes in at will and takes what he wants, that he feels he deserves. He is one minute semi nice and the next, verballyh belligerent, blaming us, cussing us out, and damaging such things as our mail box.

My husband has gottent to the point , I see it, he can only aobut handle his job then othing around the house, adn our personal needs are being neglected by both of us.

How do we get out of this? I am realizing even with easy child that is a pain right now, that I feel our family is going to be a part of the past. Why do we have to settle for less cause that is what we will have to do to survive I beleive.

My kids are so screwed up/

Jen

 

[Suz]

Jen, I'm glad that you are having the locks changed. Your difficult child has no business being in YOUR house without an INVITATION from you and husband.

I am more worried about you than about your kids. They are both adults, married, with children. Their actions will create their successes or failures....not your. It is time for you to center your attention on your husband and your future together, not on the kids' futures. What are you and husband doing now together? Any fun plans ahead?

Hugs,
Suz

 

[DammitJanet]

I tend to agree with Suz.

They will figure out how to pay for the baby when the baby comes. There will be a social worker at the hospital that will get the medicaid application done. They wont make her have it in the parking lot. Someone will get her to the hospital and will notify him. Not your problem. I know it has to be difficult but they seem to want to be difficult.

I wouldnt waste my time worrying about their problems. Its sad that people can mess up their lives and innocent babies lives without thinking. Personally I would keep an eye out on what they are doing with the baby when it comes and if all doesnt look kosher, then I would call CPS and let them investigate. Neither of them sound too stable.

 

[Sunlight]

Jen, I was thinking too that you ahve to focus on you. your kids are driving you nuts. why give them advice?? they wont listen anyway. they will work it out. not the way you would like, but truly it is their ball of wax.

time for you now, Jen. ignore them all and go get a nice candle lit bath!

 

[Jen]

Have one better than that, we leave in a week for Hawaii, not coming back. That is why the locks are being changed.

Jen

 

[Suz]

What do you mean about "not coming back"?

Are you moving there?

Suz

 

[Jen]

I,m sorry Suz, just wishful thinking to leave an never comeback to the issues that will still be there. Hate that.

Jen

 

[TYLERFAN]

Step away from the difficult child's :hypnosis:
Change your locks, make your contact with them as little as possible for now, and have a great time in Hawaii :smile:

Blessings,
Melissa