My 19 year old son is threatening suicide because he said he is sick of even being here

[GoingNorth]

If you see red flags in the relationship, then you do need to be wary. Getting therapy for yourself seems like a good idea. Maybe you should step back from the relationship for a while, until you feel more healthy? Is it possible for you to move out on your own?

Whenever you feel you are ready to marry again (whether it is to this guy or someone else) get pre-marital counseling. It really helps. I have a friend that was told after pre-marital counseling that she shouldn't marry the guy. She did anyway, and belatedly realized the counselor was right.

Oh, Anytime your son threatens suicide, you should call 911.

I second the recommendation for both counselling for you, and for pre-marital counselling should you decide you are leaning that way.

husband and I did pre-marital counselling when we committed to each other and moved in together. He had some issues stemming from a very controlling father and a sexual assault in his teens, and I had some issues from a previous relationship that were carrying over into our relationship.

Honestly, I think couples counseling before commitment is good for all couples. If only to learn how to "fight properly", and how to really listen to each other.

husband and I knew we were soulmates, but our marriage would not have been what it was without what we learned in counselling, both before and at periods during, when we felt one or both of us needed a "tune up".