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Doubts and questions about my course.
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<blockquote data-quote="Kalahou" data-source="post: 712661" data-attributes="member: 19617"><p>Dear Copa,</p><p></p><p>I’ve been following along with all your many posts and have reaped wisdom from much of what everyone has shared.</p><p></p><p>My interpretation of this truth you shared may or may not be the way you intended it, but I will share “my take” for what it means to me. The phrase just leapt out at me, as a great gem of wisdom.</p><p></p><p>I recognize this to be true of myself, that in order to help my son by practicing detachment, I have given up / <em>cut off much of myself</em> ~ in my relationship to him and to some extent with others, in order to practice what I have now learned in detachment is “<em>the right thing</em>.”</p><p></p><p>For example, my basic genetic nature and also my field of employment is one of continually giving to others, encouraging, uplifting, assisting, coaching, analyzing, and implementing for resolution, planning, etc. ~ usually with my intent and hope that I was doing a good thing. I have found that to <u>not</u> always be so.</p><p></p><p>I am still a person with these innate traits in my work and with many folks who may relate well to me in this way. But with my son in particular, I found that exercising those natural attributes did not work and were not good. I came to realize that the more I encouraged, suggested, assisted, cared, etc., ~ the very opposite of my intent and hope is what occurred. So yes, I have cut so much of myself off and receded from demonstrating my innate “nature” and have learned to "flex" my style (as needed) with him and with some others also. I learned it is better for me and for them.</p><p></p><p>“<em>Cutting off so much of myself</em>” was truly needed "<em>to do the right thing", </em> and has helped and allowed my son to be who he will be, and has bettered our situation. <u>In losing much of my life, I found much more</u>.</p><p></p><p>It was a necessary loss for me to willingly lose and give up / cut off so much of myself, in order to release my son and to give him my acceptance and give him the freedom (<em>without my fretting and concern</em>) to be the person he can be on his own. (As a side realization, I learned that "fretting" (worry / concern ...) really only springs from a desire/ determination to want to have it all go our own way. What a revelation !)</p><p></p><p>In cutting off much of myself, I am learning much more understanding and wisdom in the process.</p><p>Thank you, and take care, dear.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kalahou, post: 712661, member: 19617"] Dear Copa, I’ve been following along with all your many posts and have reaped wisdom from much of what everyone has shared. My interpretation of this truth you shared may or may not be the way you intended it, but I will share “my take” for what it means to me. The phrase just leapt out at me, as a great gem of wisdom. I recognize this to be true of myself, that in order to help my son by practicing detachment, I have given up / [I]cut off much of myself[/I] ~ in my relationship to him and to some extent with others, in order to practice what I have now learned in detachment is “[I]the right thing[/I].” For example, my basic genetic nature and also my field of employment is one of continually giving to others, encouraging, uplifting, assisting, coaching, analyzing, and implementing for resolution, planning, etc. ~ usually with my intent and hope that I was doing a good thing. I have found that to [U]not[/U] always be so. I am still a person with these innate traits in my work and with many folks who may relate well to me in this way. But with my son in particular, I found that exercising those natural attributes did not work and were not good. I came to realize that the more I encouraged, suggested, assisted, cared, etc., ~ the very opposite of my intent and hope is what occurred. So yes, I have cut so much of myself off and receded from demonstrating my innate “nature” and have learned to "flex" my style (as needed) with him and with some others also. I learned it is better for me and for them. “[I]Cutting off so much of myself[/I]” was truly needed "[I]to do the right thing", [/I] and has helped and allowed my son to be who he will be, and has bettered our situation. [U]In losing much of my life, I found much more[/U]. It was a necessary loss for me to willingly lose and give up / cut off so much of myself, in order to release my son and to give him my acceptance and give him the freedom ([I]without my fretting and concern[/I]) to be the person he can be on his own. (As a side realization, I learned that "fretting" (worry / concern ...) really only springs from a desire/ determination to want to have it all go our own way. What a revelation !) In cutting off much of myself, I am learning much more understanding and wisdom in the process. Thank you, and take care, dear. [/QUOTE]
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