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Substance Abuse
Drugs, normal teen crap and life in Limbo
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<blockquote data-quote="Sam3" data-source="post: 724704" data-attributes="member: 19290"><p>Have you heard about fenced in cows? When first placed in a pen, they will hug and nudge all the way around the railing, looking for holes and weak spots.</p><p></p><p>Not until they are sure the railing is solid, will they gather safely in the middle.</p><p></p><p>It seems like your son is still testing the pen. The only consequence for</p><p>escape is nuclear (jail)— it’s draconian and the likelihood seems remote. That may not make the pen feel more solid.</p><p></p><p>I think you have to do some real soul searching about what are your firm boundaries. He’s been smoking pot and now is staying out. When the first</p><p>did not trigger the nuclear option, the others were likely to follow.</p><p></p><p>Maybe you can conceptualize it differently. It’s not that he is committing this or that infraction. It’s that he’s still abiding by his own situational ethics and not your house rules. Whether the infractions are big or small is not the point. It is his inability to respect his obligations. Just as he was not before he got put in the slammer</p><p></p><p>Then figure out what you will do</p><p>going forward and tell him and stick by it. Right now you are negotiating with yourself.</p><p></p><p>Edited to add: I’m trying to find my own priorities and backbone right now</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sam3, post: 724704, member: 19290"] Have you heard about fenced in cows? When first placed in a pen, they will hug and nudge all the way around the railing, looking for holes and weak spots. Not until they are sure the railing is solid, will they gather safely in the middle. It seems like your son is still testing the pen. The only consequence for escape is nuclear (jail)— it’s draconian and the likelihood seems remote. That may not make the pen feel more solid. I think you have to do some real soul searching about what are your firm boundaries. He’s been smoking pot and now is staying out. When the first did not trigger the nuclear option, the others were likely to follow. Maybe you can conceptualize it differently. It’s not that he is committing this or that infraction. It’s that he’s still abiding by his own situational ethics and not your house rules. Whether the infractions are big or small is not the point. It is his inability to respect his obligations. Just as he was not before he got put in the slammer Then figure out what you will do going forward and tell him and stick by it. Right now you are negotiating with yourself. Edited to add: I’m trying to find my own priorities and backbone right now [/QUOTE]
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