Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Drugs, normal teen crap and life in Limbo
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 724709" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Lbl, I am biased toward tough love for addicts. Yet I am basically a softhearted person who cant resist stuffing money in the can of a homeless person or who will stop driving to grab a stray dog and save it. I would treat any other ill person who was not an addict with love and kindness and help....the flu, cancer, MS, AIDS, etc.</p><p></p><p>But addiction is weird. The sick person does not respond to kindness and our love. Addiction is ugly and brings out horrible, unbearable personality traits...lying, deceit, stealing, abuse, disregard of the feelings of those who love us, their very humanity. I saw my sweet daughter become a robot. It about killed me. She was so pretty that I feel that's why she stayed out of jail. But she was involved in the robbery of a liquor store that she wasn't charged with.</p><p></p><p>Finally I made this beautiful, frail (at the time) nineteen year old leave. Staying at home did not change her and upset my littles and my husband. And me!</p><p></p><p>Only then did she panic and change. She was not homeless. Gone boy let her live in his basement woth strict rules including work, rent, cleaning and not even one cigarette. It was like jail to her. He was not lenient and the threat of homelessness was always there. She followed his rules. She quit and turned her life around. From then to now. He was her jailer and I will forever be grateful.</p><p></p><p>Does this always work? Of course not. It depends on how sick the addict is and his/her mindset. But comforting an addict at home, unlike a cancer patient, does not work at all.</p><p></p><p>If this were me, I would rather my son wait for rehab in jail than breaking your rules and, worse, hanging around the horrible influence of this teenager and her toxic police officer mother. He was scared in jail. Being scared is a motive for a person to change his life. Fun sex and drugs and this girl child waiting for him when he gets out of rehab to me is worse than jail in the big picture. And I cant stress the catastrophe he will face if he gets her pregnant.</p><p></p><p>You can detour this or try. You can give him the option of following your rules or waiting in jail. That of course is in my opinion. Take what you like and leave the rest. In the end, you have to live with what you do. But please don't bluff him. If you set a boundary, fulfill the consequences if he crosses it or he won't take you seriously.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for the pain in your loving heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 724709, member: 1550"] Lbl, I am biased toward tough love for addicts. Yet I am basically a softhearted person who cant resist stuffing money in the can of a homeless person or who will stop driving to grab a stray dog and save it. I would treat any other ill person who was not an addict with love and kindness and help....the flu, cancer, MS, AIDS, etc. But addiction is weird. The sick person does not respond to kindness and our love. Addiction is ugly and brings out horrible, unbearable personality traits...lying, deceit, stealing, abuse, disregard of the feelings of those who love us, their very humanity. I saw my sweet daughter become a robot. It about killed me. She was so pretty that I feel that's why she stayed out of jail. But she was involved in the robbery of a liquor store that she wasn't charged with. Finally I made this beautiful, frail (at the time) nineteen year old leave. Staying at home did not change her and upset my littles and my husband. And me! Only then did she panic and change. She was not homeless. Gone boy let her live in his basement woth strict rules including work, rent, cleaning and not even one cigarette. It was like jail to her. He was not lenient and the threat of homelessness was always there. She followed his rules. She quit and turned her life around. From then to now. He was her jailer and I will forever be grateful. Does this always work? Of course not. It depends on how sick the addict is and his/her mindset. But comforting an addict at home, unlike a cancer patient, does not work at all. If this were me, I would rather my son wait for rehab in jail than breaking your rules and, worse, hanging around the horrible influence of this teenager and her toxic police officer mother. He was scared in jail. Being scared is a motive for a person to change his life. Fun sex and drugs and this girl child waiting for him when he gets out of rehab to me is worse than jail in the big picture. And I cant stress the catastrophe he will face if he gets her pregnant. You can detour this or try. You can give him the option of following your rules or waiting in jail. That of course is in my opinion. Take what you like and leave the rest. In the end, you have to live with what you do. But please don't bluff him. If you set a boundary, fulfill the consequences if he crosses it or he won't take you seriously. I am so sorry for the pain in your loving heart. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Drugs, normal teen crap and life in Limbo
Top