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Substance Abuse
Drugs, normal teen crap and life in Limbo
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<blockquote data-quote="ColleenB" data-source="post: 724775" data-attributes="member: 19887"><p>I’ve been away all week and am just catching up. I’m so sorry LBL that it has been such a roller coaster! I can’t imagine how frustrating it is dealing with sons girlfriend mom, it always makes my blood boil when those who should know better are part of the problem! Working with at risk youth and adults regularly you would think she would understand how critical it is to have boundaries and respect your wishes in this. </p><p></p><p>You do deserve this trip to Mexico! We are going in March and I can’t wait. We will be leaving the boys on their own and it does scare me to be honest. Son does not have a good track record for us being away. Two years ago we left them to go south and youngest son said older Son was drunk before we left the tarmac, and caused so much damage to our home.... holes in walls etc.... that was all him! No party even. Younger Son cleaned up most of the mess when older one passed out. Breaks my heart he had to do that. I don’t want him to go through that again. I’m considering flying my mom in as we have for so many trips. Both boys are very close to my mom, and older one especially. He wouldn’t want to upset her. She knows everything. He couldn’t fool her. I would do it as much for younger one so he wouldn’t feel responsible for his brother. I worry about anger over what has happened the last five years.... since he was 15 he has watched us stress, cry and basically fall apart at times. This is not ok. He is doing so well now and he deserves the success he is having in his forestry program. I am so proud of him. </p><p></p><p>I don’t know what I would do in your situation to be honest. Part of me thinks he would be safer in jail. You could rest easy knowing he was “safe” and in a place he couldn’t cause any more harm to himself or you. </p><p></p><p>However, I’ve been on these boards long enough to know we can never really know what’s best since we only see a sliver of your reality. Trying to explain in words is always going to be inadequate and thus I always try to see a bigger picture than is written. As parents we never want to give up on our children.... it is our nature. I know you have done absolutely everything you could for your son. Whether you decide will be the best choice for you, regardless of the outcome. We can’t control their actions. Hard lesson I have learnt to accept. </p><p></p><p>Please know you deserve the time away and hopefully whatever you decide to do is your decision, regardless of what others think you should do. </p><p></p><p>Disclaimer; I’m not saying to ignore advice! There is lots of very very good advice here! Just know that ultimately it’s your life and your decision <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> you all have to live with the consequences .... no one else. </p><p></p><p>Hugs good friend. I wish we could meet over a coffee and I could give you a real hug.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ColleenB, post: 724775, member: 19887"] I’ve been away all week and am just catching up. I’m so sorry LBL that it has been such a roller coaster! I can’t imagine how frustrating it is dealing with sons girlfriend mom, it always makes my blood boil when those who should know better are part of the problem! Working with at risk youth and adults regularly you would think she would understand how critical it is to have boundaries and respect your wishes in this. You do deserve this trip to Mexico! We are going in March and I can’t wait. We will be leaving the boys on their own and it does scare me to be honest. Son does not have a good track record for us being away. Two years ago we left them to go south and youngest son said older Son was drunk before we left the tarmac, and caused so much damage to our home.... holes in walls etc.... that was all him! No party even. Younger Son cleaned up most of the mess when older one passed out. Breaks my heart he had to do that. I don’t want him to go through that again. I’m considering flying my mom in as we have for so many trips. Both boys are very close to my mom, and older one especially. He wouldn’t want to upset her. She knows everything. He couldn’t fool her. I would do it as much for younger one so he wouldn’t feel responsible for his brother. I worry about anger over what has happened the last five years.... since he was 15 he has watched us stress, cry and basically fall apart at times. This is not ok. He is doing so well now and he deserves the success he is having in his forestry program. I am so proud of him. I don’t know what I would do in your situation to be honest. Part of me thinks he would be safer in jail. You could rest easy knowing he was “safe” and in a place he couldn’t cause any more harm to himself or you. However, I’ve been on these boards long enough to know we can never really know what’s best since we only see a sliver of your reality. Trying to explain in words is always going to be inadequate and thus I always try to see a bigger picture than is written. As parents we never want to give up on our children.... it is our nature. I know you have done absolutely everything you could for your son. Whether you decide will be the best choice for you, regardless of the outcome. We can’t control their actions. Hard lesson I have learnt to accept. Please know you deserve the time away and hopefully whatever you decide to do is your decision, regardless of what others think you should do. Disclaimer; I’m not saying to ignore advice! There is lots of very very good advice here! Just know that ultimately it’s your life and your decision :) you all have to live with the consequences .... no one else. Hugs good friend. I wish we could meet over a coffee and I could give you a real hug. [/QUOTE]
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