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Dum Dee Dum Dum.....
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 213253" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Here's what I am hoping for my future EMT niece. </p><p> </p><p>See.....I'm going to go out on a limb - mostly because it's where I live and because I care a lot about the people and their children here. Also because if I can't speak what's in my mind vs. my heart I have no real advice to offer. So here goes. </p><p> </p><p>I hope they do NOT hook up. Not yet anyway (ducks ugly glares) Okay well here it is. </p><p> </p><p>If Nicole feels at her young age and being so beautiful that she can not do any better than current "abusive" boyfriend, and because she has a child - hooking up with a nice guy is NOT EVER going to change her opinion of her self worth. She'll be treated better, but possibly always wonder WHY he treats her so nice when all the others treated her like poop. </p><p> </p><p>Women ALWAYS (self included) wonder why they pick looser boys or men. Why they get out of one carpy relationship and seem to be nearly drawn into the next one. - You can have tons of self confidance, but little to no self esteem. This is why you see on occasion very successful women with LOOSER L7 boyfriends or fiances - they exude TONS of self-confinence in their careers, looks but lack the self esteem we all should have to KNOW they deserve the best life has to offer. OR they may feel they can "fix" the man they are with or that he'll "Change" with her undying love. And eventually it becomes a pattern just like Nicole may have that sends a signal to her brain - "I'm not worthy of a decent man who would treat me the way I should be treated - or no one will want me because I have a child, I'm overweight, I'm not pure...." and the reasons and reasoning go on and on until ------</p><p> </p><p>You get counseling. And sister - I mean LOTS of it. Why? BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT.....every single stinking cent you spend on yourself to get your good mental health back and STOP allowing (GET THAT ALLOWING??) yourself to hook up with "better" than what you have guys. </p><p> </p><p>I know EXACTLY what you mean Daisy - I see it in my own son when he dates these little girls that have NO self respect or self esteem. They act trashy, behave like raunchy people and it becomes CLEAR to my disturbed 18 year old kid even - that these girls are going to have baggage and need help. He even told me about one girl he really liked that was "very out there" "Momma Love may conquer all - but not if you can't love yourself." </p><p> </p><p>So what I'm thinking - is lets get Nicole into some books about self esteem and knowing your TRUE worth and value - SHE IS A PRINCESS....she is a gem, she's beautiful and she's human - so obviously she's made a mistake or two along the way - (pick up stone here and throw it if you have never made a mistake) and ENCOURAGE her to be ABOVE the level she's seeking. I've never met her and I know that she's a fantastic young woman - (flawed true and sometimes doesnt' treat her Mom the way she ought to for all her help) but nonetheless - HER VALUE IS IMMEASURABLE.....ands he should be treated as such. Anything less is unacceptable. Getting HER convinced of that? Harder than it sounds but dooable. </p><p> </p><p>Once she's mastered her sense of self-worth? The sky would be the limit on her choices - of everything in life - not just men....</p><p> </p><p>The nicest compliment any man ever paid me was when DF and I met and dated a few times and he said the sexiest thing about me was my brain, and my self confidence. Huge turn on to those men that are the RIGHT choices. And it also doesn't limit her to just the guy next door.....(Know what I mean??) In order to shoot a rocket higher you dont' have to be a rocket scientist - but you DO have to belive you can get the thing off the ground and into space. How you get to space comes after you learn - just like she needs to learn about herself and know her value - maybe you should ask her if she's ever thought about what she's worth? And why? </p><p> </p><p>I smell brownies and coffee Mom/daughter talk coming up. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs </p><p>Love</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 213253, member: 4964"] Here's what I am hoping for my future EMT niece. See.....I'm going to go out on a limb - mostly because it's where I live and because I care a lot about the people and their children here. Also because if I can't speak what's in my mind vs. my heart I have no real advice to offer. So here goes. I hope they do NOT hook up. Not yet anyway (ducks ugly glares) Okay well here it is. If Nicole feels at her young age and being so beautiful that she can not do any better than current "abusive" boyfriend, and because she has a child - hooking up with a nice guy is NOT EVER going to change her opinion of her self worth. She'll be treated better, but possibly always wonder WHY he treats her so nice when all the others treated her like poop. Women ALWAYS (self included) wonder why they pick looser boys or men. Why they get out of one carpy relationship and seem to be nearly drawn into the next one. - You can have tons of self confidance, but little to no self esteem. This is why you see on occasion very successful women with LOOSER L7 boyfriends or fiances - they exude TONS of self-confinence in their careers, looks but lack the self esteem we all should have to KNOW they deserve the best life has to offer. OR they may feel they can "fix" the man they are with or that he'll "Change" with her undying love. And eventually it becomes a pattern just like Nicole may have that sends a signal to her brain - "I'm not worthy of a decent man who would treat me the way I should be treated - or no one will want me because I have a child, I'm overweight, I'm not pure...." and the reasons and reasoning go on and on until ------ You get counseling. And sister - I mean LOTS of it. Why? BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT.....every single stinking cent you spend on yourself to get your good mental health back and STOP allowing (GET THAT ALLOWING??) yourself to hook up with "better" than what you have guys. I know EXACTLY what you mean Daisy - I see it in my own son when he dates these little girls that have NO self respect or self esteem. They act trashy, behave like raunchy people and it becomes CLEAR to my disturbed 18 year old kid even - that these girls are going to have baggage and need help. He even told me about one girl he really liked that was "very out there" "Momma Love may conquer all - but not if you can't love yourself." So what I'm thinking - is lets get Nicole into some books about self esteem and knowing your TRUE worth and value - SHE IS A PRINCESS....she is a gem, she's beautiful and she's human - so obviously she's made a mistake or two along the way - (pick up stone here and throw it if you have never made a mistake) and ENCOURAGE her to be ABOVE the level she's seeking. I've never met her and I know that she's a fantastic young woman - (flawed true and sometimes doesnt' treat her Mom the way she ought to for all her help) but nonetheless - HER VALUE IS IMMEASURABLE.....ands he should be treated as such. Anything less is unacceptable. Getting HER convinced of that? Harder than it sounds but dooable. Once she's mastered her sense of self-worth? The sky would be the limit on her choices - of everything in life - not just men.... The nicest compliment any man ever paid me was when DF and I met and dated a few times and he said the sexiest thing about me was my brain, and my self confidence. Huge turn on to those men that are the RIGHT choices. And it also doesn't limit her to just the guy next door.....(Know what I mean??) In order to shoot a rocket higher you dont' have to be a rocket scientist - but you DO have to belive you can get the thing off the ground and into space. How you get to space comes after you learn - just like she needs to learn about herself and know her value - maybe you should ask her if she's ever thought about what she's worth? And why? I smell brownies and coffee Mom/daughter talk coming up. Hugs Love Star [/QUOTE]
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