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Enabling dad....
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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 402248" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>Actually, Susie,X does not gripe about her behavior ... at least not right now. He told me about her owing him $ because i asked whether he was going to cut off her texting. I was very surprised that she owed him, because this is the ONE area where he will usually take a stand. His attitude is very passive que sera sera ... pretty much his attitude about everything. He rarely, very rarely, comes to me about anything regarding daughter. Even if asked directly, he will very often lie rather than admit what is really going on. I don't ask often, but did this time as i found it curious that she was not working, had chosen not to go to cosmetology school as planned, and seemed to be doing pretty much what she wants. </p><p> </p><p>There is no "talking" to X. He is very passive/aggressive and does exactly what he wants to do. Right now, this is actually working for him because she spends most of her time with the boyfriend and is out of his hair. She is only there from midnight on, while her boyfriend is at work. He's alseep. While he's at work, she's at her boyfriend's having a pj party.</p><p> </p><p>And you are oh, so right... this is not my problem. I am honestly not getting sucked into the vortex and engaging with either one of them. i do appreciate having this as a venting place ... I'm not so far into detachment that I don't need that yet ... but I am not engaging. Her not paying rent? Not my problem. Her not paying texting? Also not my probelm...I will pay what I've agreed to pay and no more. Do I think this is healthy for her? Of course not. If she was here it would be very,very different ... but she is not.</p><p> </p><p>As to what he expects her to do with her time? Mr Ostrich chooses to believe that she is job hunting. This is a joke as she stays up all night - literally - and then snoozes by day with the boyfriend. What would her motivation be to look for a job? He seems to be letting her slide on the rent and texting. boyfriend has a job (to which she carts him back and forth daily) and since HE has no responsibilities, I'm sure he's giving her money for gas. They have their meals taken care of and shelter between daddy's house and his parent's house. No worries. No reason to get a job.</p><p> </p><p>Yes, with my work ethic, this drives me mad. </p><p> </p><p>But all I can do is watch and shake my head....</p><p> </p><p>Dash</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 402248, member: 9175"] Actually, Susie,X does not gripe about her behavior ... at least not right now. He told me about her owing him $ because i asked whether he was going to cut off her texting. I was very surprised that she owed him, because this is the ONE area where he will usually take a stand. His attitude is very passive que sera sera ... pretty much his attitude about everything. He rarely, very rarely, comes to me about anything regarding daughter. Even if asked directly, he will very often lie rather than admit what is really going on. I don't ask often, but did this time as i found it curious that she was not working, had chosen not to go to cosmetology school as planned, and seemed to be doing pretty much what she wants. There is no "talking" to X. He is very passive/aggressive and does exactly what he wants to do. Right now, this is actually working for him because she spends most of her time with the boyfriend and is out of his hair. She is only there from midnight on, while her boyfriend is at work. He's alseep. While he's at work, she's at her boyfriend's having a pj party. And you are oh, so right... this is not my problem. I am honestly not getting sucked into the vortex and engaging with either one of them. i do appreciate having this as a venting place ... I'm not so far into detachment that I don't need that yet ... but I am not engaging. Her not paying rent? Not my problem. Her not paying texting? Also not my probelm...I will pay what I've agreed to pay and no more. Do I think this is healthy for her? Of course not. If she was here it would be very,very different ... but she is not. As to what he expects her to do with her time? Mr Ostrich chooses to believe that she is job hunting. This is a joke as she stays up all night - literally - and then snoozes by day with the boyfriend. What would her motivation be to look for a job? He seems to be letting her slide on the rent and texting. boyfriend has a job (to which she carts him back and forth daily) and since HE has no responsibilities, I'm sure he's giving her money for gas. They have their meals taken care of and shelter between daddy's house and his parent's house. No worries. No reason to get a job. Yes, with my work ethic, this drives me mad. But all I can do is watch and shake my head.... Dash [/QUOTE]
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