Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Enabling... Helicopter?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 738159" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I will only say what I think. It does not make it right or wrong.</p><p></p><p>It seems you want to do his laundry and make meals. I think this is kind and caring. It is also a way to be close and supportive. But that is only if son is acting entitled, lazy, and demanding.</p><p></p><p>I am assuming that you do the family laundry and you prepare family meals, or food for yourself. To include your son is part of being a family.</p><p></p><p>If you feel it might be enabling, to do for him things he could and should be doing himself, perhaps you may consider the following:</p><p></p><p>You might want to sit down with him and to determine what household chores could be his responsibility. Yard work, house work, windows, caring for pets, shopping, etc. Maybe he will want to cook 1 or 2 dinners a week. I think that would be encouraging both responsibility and reciprocity.</p><p></p><p>I also think it might be a reasonable idea to consider a monthly rent. And I think if you are preparing most of the food, it is not out of line that he purchase some groceries. Maybe you can set it up that he buys groceries for the meals he prepares. I think this would be lovely if he were to cook for you. I just bought an Instant pot and I am having loads of fun, except I have not figured out how to use it. The concept itself is fun.</p><p></p><p>Each of these things would convey to him that you consider him a responsible adult.</p><p></p><p>Good luck.</p><p></p><p>PS I just read Tired Mama's post. I agree with her.</p><p></p><p>Am I understanding correctly that son complied with the court, completed his requirements, and discharged his responsibilities? And that all is well? And that he is working, too? And that he asked to come home, and you agreed? And then on top of it all, he is working?</p><p></p><p>All of this is wonderful. I am so happy for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 738159, member: 18958"] I will only say what I think. It does not make it right or wrong. It seems you want to do his laundry and make meals. I think this is kind and caring. It is also a way to be close and supportive. But that is only if son is acting entitled, lazy, and demanding. I am assuming that you do the family laundry and you prepare family meals, or food for yourself. To include your son is part of being a family. If you feel it might be enabling, to do for him things he could and should be doing himself, perhaps you may consider the following: You might want to sit down with him and to determine what household chores could be his responsibility. Yard work, house work, windows, caring for pets, shopping, etc. Maybe he will want to cook 1 or 2 dinners a week. I think that would be encouraging both responsibility and reciprocity. I also think it might be a reasonable idea to consider a monthly rent. And I think if you are preparing most of the food, it is not out of line that he purchase some groceries. Maybe you can set it up that he buys groceries for the meals he prepares. I think this would be lovely if he were to cook for you. I just bought an Instant pot and I am having loads of fun, except I have not figured out how to use it. The concept itself is fun. Each of these things would convey to him that you consider him a responsible adult. Good luck. PS I just read Tired Mama's post. I agree with her. Am I understanding correctly that son complied with the court, completed his requirements, and discharged his responsibilities? And that all is well? And that he is working, too? And that he asked to come home, and you agreed? And then on top of it all, he is working? All of this is wonderful. I am so happy for you. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Enabling... Helicopter?
Top