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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 749257" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>If somebody mistreats you and abuses you and takes you for granted, and does not allow you to speak, and takes everything you offer them and then abuses you more if you withhold even one thing, to protect yourselves, do you think it is human to react with fear and restraint? I don't think this is a loss of love. I think it is the only way to respond that makes sense.</p><p></p><p>If Kay were to change, even 50 percent, I believe your love for her would come back. I think it is hiding, not gone. Dormant, I guess, is the word.</p><p></p><p>But how do you keep living from love in relation to somebody who over the years only hurts you and targets you? Think about it. That would be like in evolution an organism, say a rabbit, that only sought out its predators. Oh. I just want to hang out with hawks and rattlers. How long would that species survive? Or somebody that just went around looking for hot irons to touch. How long would that person last?</p><p></p><p>What you and your husband are doing is called the instinct to survive. It is the most basic and strongest instinct we have. It has not one thing to do with favoritism. We turn away (finally) from those who hurt us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 749257, member: 18958"] If somebody mistreats you and abuses you and takes you for granted, and does not allow you to speak, and takes everything you offer them and then abuses you more if you withhold even one thing, to protect yourselves, do you think it is human to react with fear and restraint? I don't think this is a loss of love. I think it is the only way to respond that makes sense. If Kay were to change, even 50 percent, I believe your love for her would come back. I think it is hiding, not gone. Dormant, I guess, is the word. But how do you keep living from love in relation to somebody who over the years only hurts you and targets you? Think about it. That would be like in evolution an organism, say a rabbit, that only sought out its predators. Oh. I just want to hang out with hawks and rattlers. How long would that species survive? Or somebody that just went around looking for hot irons to touch. How long would that person last? What you and your husband are doing is called the instinct to survive. It is the most basic and strongest instinct we have. It has not one thing to do with favoritism. We turn away (finally) from those who hurt us. [/QUOTE]
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