FBA / meeting today

[Kjs]

about a month ago we had an IEP meeting where I requested a FBA and other testing. As difficult child has been acting out and has never had an FBA at this middle school and it is his second year there.
That was a struggle, but they finally agreed after the second meeting when I was throwing facts out at them. The school social worker said she would observe him and do the FBA.
I asked difficult child if she had been in his classroom. (he was in the IEP). He told me she was in ONE class and not for the whole period. So, I was expecting in the days to follow she would be in other classes and observing him.
Yesterday difficult child told me that his whole schedule has been changed and he is now with Special Education teacher. Prior to this he was only seeing her in study hall at the last period of the day.
I was concerned that they changed his entire schedule and never informed me. So, I checked my email. Special Education teacher wants to meet at 10 am today to go over the "data" collected from the FBA. I assume this is where she will tell me she changed his schedule. I asked difficult child if the social worker has been in his classes. He told me no, only one class and not for the entire class. OK...HOW can that be enough information to assess him? I understand the class she did attend is where he has the biggest conflict, but he has emotional issues and they do not only appear in that class. He does have other issues and I would of liked her to see what goes on in all classes, all areas of school.
Opinions if any I would appreciate.

 

[Kjs]

Ok..difficult child lied to me last night about homework. I then specifically asked him if he had any missing work. He told me 2 in english.
Well, I went to this meeting today. He has 18 missing assignments and the quarter started April 2nd. I was also told the FBA is not comlete. They are having others also observe since he KNOWS she is there to watch him.
I recieved all the progress reports showing all the missing work
I was also told they checked him out a special English book on Tuesday and he did not bring it back. They asked him where it was and he said he didn't know. I told them that before he got out of the car, I pointed out how his papers are sticking out of his book, I showed him that I was folding the papers and putting them in the book, so he knew where the assignment was. Now, mind you...English is the first class. Left the car, went into school and when he got to english he said he lost the book. Sp. Ed. teacher went to every room and collected all the english books. None of those were checked out to Alex. I told them when he walked through those doors it was in his hands. So, they opened his locker. Found it. So after more conversation, he goes to his locker, throws in all his books and and papers, then goes to class. No book, no assignment, no pen or pencil and no notebook or paper. He does this for every class. I asked him why and he said because he isn't going to do anything in class!!! Then when an assignment comes up missing he says he lost it and is not doing it again. I bought all the school supplies, backpack etc. I asked him to put his papers in the expandable folder I bough him and then all classes, all work would be there. Nope. He had some well, ALOT of homework tonight. Read a story answer questions. He had a dr. appointment. so I read the story while he was in there. Later, I went over his answers. So sloppy, mispelled, no punctuation all the words run together ...AND it was just what ever he felt like putting down. They were not correct. Didn't even make sense. Just put something down. He said an F is better than a zero. I made him change several but then it is the pen scratching out and writing even worse than before. We fought and he kept yelling at me for telling him how stupid he is. He is NOT stupid I just do not understand WHY. I told him his father will take a vacation day and attend school with him. Making sure he participates, does his class work and brings supplies to each class. He wouldn't do that for me. Then he tried pulling that with husband. he tells you one thing, then turns it around and says he never said that and we are lying. NOW he did it to husband. I don't know what to do. In the meeting spec. ed. teacher said he will say, well mike isn't doing it why do I have to. DOES IT MATTER? If he is told to do something he needs to do it. And NO sleeping through class.So, no computer (which he asked for already)..No doing anything until ALL work has been done.

Every day he fights with me that he doesn't want to go to school, school is useless, can I stay home. Today I let him sleep longer than normal, hoping he wouldn't sleep in class. Well then we get up to go and he says he is sick. Can't go.
I didn't have time to argue had to bring pup to vet.
all went well there, put her in the back seat of my NEW car. Got home opened the door and she chewed the armrest off.
Then I told difficult child I had a meeting at school and he needs to go to school. (husband had called and told him he had to go_) So he went.
Heard stories how he walks into a class with a new student and immediately says something mean to him. WHY. I just don't get it. He worked from 6 pm until now on homework. Some, most is so sloppy you cannot read. Some I KNOW he guessed at. Others are OK. Still has 5 more to go. PLUS tomorrows work. Awful. It is just awful.

Thanks for listening.

 

[Sheila]

If the FBA isn't done appropriately, it's useless.

There's a lot of things that could be going on with your son, but I'm picking up some anxiety related to school. You might want to do some research on this. Of all difficult child's problems, anxiety is the most difficult to deal with.

A personal story: There was a time that I fought the homework battles. I also had a rule that what didn't get done at school, would get done at home. It was a mistake.

Mistake #1: It takes a lot of energy for some of our kids to hold things together throughout the day. My son was already mentally tired when he got home from school. Expecting him to continue with homework was more than he could do. If difficult child can't be productive with-homework, it doesn't get done.

Mistake #2: The more I did regarding classroom assistance, the more I was expected to do by the sd. Because I was doing so much at home, they couldn't see the need for a lot of things he needed as far as accommodations, remedial help, etc., because difficult child was "making good grades." So I had to turn the teaching responsibility back to the educators. Mom changed the rule -- don't send classroom work home.

It wasn't until difficult child's IEP was right and everyone was following it, that difficult child was able to perform as everyone expected. As long as the anxiety is kept under control, the rest comes easier. When it's not, it's difficult for all.

How is the other testing progressing?