Good for you. Maybe it is time to really take a look at yourself, without the therapist, or us or anyone elses opinion except your own. You are proud of what you did. That is very important. Your love for your son simply outweighs the concern you have for yourself. We all have been there done that.
Remember, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. You want your son to be independent and strong and to care about what he is doing to himself and the people around him. Well, change places and put yourself in that sentence. The best method of teaching really is by example, nothing else works. We do not have control over anyone else. If that is what I wanted I would just bury my head in the sand and then follow it with the rest of my body. We want them to have control of themselves and how better to help them than to make sure they see that we have control of ourselves and our lives regardless of their wants, needs and behaviors
If you make your son leave or if you let him stay isnt really point as long as you are in charge of your life and (not him and his lack of control). In controling your life you are also responsible for any minors in your home, so that includes making the decisions that will include their well being along with yours. You are never alone, none of us are. We have each other and if that doesn't help you then look at that little angel on your shoulder reminding you how loved you are, constantly. You are a beautiful, strong, loving, caring person. Being a "MOM" is not who we are. We are kind, we are hopeful, we are angry, we are frustrated, we are lonely, we are sad.. those are just a few of the qualities that make people who they are. "MOM" is just a name, don't get confined by what you think makes you a good one. The world does not know who you are, but you do. If you don't like the way you handle something, write it down, and then write down 3 other ways you could have handled it better. Be happy, smile, remember that you love your son more than he hates himself. That love may never have an effect on him but it does not change that it is there, big and true and glowing. Let him see that.
I am going to walk beside my difficult child with my head held high and turn her over to the police and watch them take her into custody and put her behind bars. I am going to smile at her because I love her. I am going to hug her and tell her that she is not alone. But, she will go into that jail cell knowing I am angry about her actions, I am disappointed in her choices, and that I love her abundently. She will also know that she is where she is because of her actions not because I don't care enough to bail her out. (or let her live with me) I refuse to go there. And me? I am going to be happy that she is alive another day and I will hope that the love she sees shining from me will make her feel better, a little. You cant make someone want to be loved or to accept love. But you can be happy to give it, freely (good thing because most times we dont get any back).
well hoped you enjoyed that disertation...ugh.. I did go on didnt I.
lov and hugs to you! work it out.. you can..
. I used to be obsessed trying to make him do the right thing. I only just remembered the significance of this date this evening! I feel lighter.
