Beautifully stated COM. Thank you.
My brother is a pilot and one time years ago I was going flying with him in a small plane. As he was doing the 'pilot check' before takeoff, we were tethered to the ground by cables as the plane was idling and he was doing his check outside. I was in the cockpit and it suddenly occurred to me that I was like the plane, idling and ready to go, but tethered with responsibilities, real or imagined, to the ground, going nowhere...........I have always remembered that moment and the clarity with which that info came flying through...........
For me, that sense of responsibility for others was tied to my self worth and letting that go and taking that leap was filled with all sorts of trepidation, FEAR. However, in the past couple of years, I have been untying those cables one by one......and..............now I feel like I'm on the runway, about to take flight........
Yesterday, another one of those cables, perhaps the last of the larger ones broke free. In an exchange with my granddaughter, she expressed her knowledge that I was always "helping" people and she knew it was who I was and a result of my own background, but that she needed to do things her way and make her own mistakes.........she said she is so appreciative for everything I've done for her, but now.......
.it's time for me to let go...........
I could feel something inside release as she said that. It was a very real POP............and another cable untied.........
Empty is a powerful place to be, it is filled with possibilities, opportunities, wonder, awe, openness, freedom, space, lightness and love.......
If we unhook from everybody and everything, then who are we?
That is my
only quest now COM, no longer "absorbing the deficiencies of others" as my last therapist so aptly put it.
The sense of freedom is profound, exhilarating, a tad scary, but oh so much better than all that control............
flying free...........I'm ready.............