Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Game Day Decision Time.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 721623" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Stick to your guns. </p><p></p><p>You do know that their shaming of you and trying to make you feel guilty over this is so that they do not have to spend any money or time on him, don't you? They want to make you do all the work and they don't want to do anything with or for him. They want the family to be the ones in the line of fire. This system doesn't work. </p><p></p><p>In many ways what they are trying to get you to do is to enable him. It just blows my mind and defies every shred of common sense and logic in my being. I wanted to cry WTF??? when you first posted about this, but I didn't want to discourage you in case this was something that actually worked that I just didn't know about. It doesn't work. My instinct was right. They want you to enable him so they don't have to provide any services. if the family keeps the addict at home, the system spends little to no money on the addict. The addict doesn't get better, maybe dies at home, but hey, it isn't the system's fault. The family should have taken better care of him. Just ask the system. </p><p></p><p>It is a mountain of bovine excrement! Your son needs to experience the consequences of his choices. If he is willing to go to get real help, then he needs to go. Otherwise, he needs to go and experience the life he seems to want to live. On his own dime. </p><p></p><p>Many years ago, my brother did not want to go to his college classes. He wanted to mow lawns for $10 per hour. This was the late 80s, so that was good money for an 18 year old college junior, but it won't support you in a good lifestyle. He also wouldn't follow house rules. My mother finally told him that if he wanted to skip out on his education and work for $10 an hour, he could go and live on that $10 an hour in his own house. He got to see how he couldn't rent a place to live that would give him what he wanted for what he made. He couldn't afford cable tv and air conditioning and to keep his clunker of a car running and everything else going. </p><p></p><p>I think your son may need to go off and do this. Drugs are incredibly expensive. If he doesn't have you and your husband there to help him with expenses, and other family to help, what will he do? He clearly is not willing to follow your rules, do what he needs to in order to get the help that HE asked for. </p><p></p><p>Logic and common sense dictate that he needs to be out of your house. He needs to see what this life will do for him. It will be hard and not fun. It will stink for him. It will be hard for you to endure and not enable. The more you enable, the longer it will drag on. </p><p></p><p>Tell these social service people that they should be ashamed. They should have gotten him a bed in a facility when he was willing to go, not made him wait all this time. They shouldn't have fobbed him off on his family. They should have taken action rather than shamed and blamed. The shame and blame belong to them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 721623, member: 1233"] Stick to your guns. You do know that their shaming of you and trying to make you feel guilty over this is so that they do not have to spend any money or time on him, don't you? They want to make you do all the work and they don't want to do anything with or for him. They want the family to be the ones in the line of fire. This system doesn't work. In many ways what they are trying to get you to do is to enable him. It just blows my mind and defies every shred of common sense and logic in my being. I wanted to cry WTF??? when you first posted about this, but I didn't want to discourage you in case this was something that actually worked that I just didn't know about. It doesn't work. My instinct was right. They want you to enable him so they don't have to provide any services. if the family keeps the addict at home, the system spends little to no money on the addict. The addict doesn't get better, maybe dies at home, but hey, it isn't the system's fault. The family should have taken better care of him. Just ask the system. It is a mountain of bovine excrement! Your son needs to experience the consequences of his choices. If he is willing to go to get real help, then he needs to go. Otherwise, he needs to go and experience the life he seems to want to live. On his own dime. Many years ago, my brother did not want to go to his college classes. He wanted to mow lawns for $10 per hour. This was the late 80s, so that was good money for an 18 year old college junior, but it won't support you in a good lifestyle. He also wouldn't follow house rules. My mother finally told him that if he wanted to skip out on his education and work for $10 an hour, he could go and live on that $10 an hour in his own house. He got to see how he couldn't rent a place to live that would give him what he wanted for what he made. He couldn't afford cable tv and air conditioning and to keep his clunker of a car running and everything else going. I think your son may need to go off and do this. Drugs are incredibly expensive. If he doesn't have you and your husband there to help him with expenses, and other family to help, what will he do? He clearly is not willing to follow your rules, do what he needs to in order to get the help that HE asked for. Logic and common sense dictate that he needs to be out of your house. He needs to see what this life will do for him. It will be hard and not fun. It will stink for him. It will be hard for you to endure and not enable. The more you enable, the longer it will drag on. Tell these social service people that they should be ashamed. They should have gotten him a bed in a facility when he was willing to go, not made him wait all this time. They shouldn't have fobbed him off on his family. They should have taken action rather than shamed and blamed. The shame and blame belong to them. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Game Day Decision Time.
Top