Geez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[carolanne]

The bleeping school gfgd attends...for the moment....called my cell phone today....it's only for emergencies...so of course when it rang I was panicked thinking my hubby was in trouble....that situation I could have dealt with I am sure.

Anyway, it was the vp with whom I have the greatest relationship ever...such a nice man, always calls to check in to see how I am holding up with gfgd crap/crud/weirdness....whatever....

He was calling to let me know that the teachers are VERY concerned about gfgd sudden turn....she's gotten even stranger in the last week....now walks around the high school with her face completely whited out, shaved off her eyebrows, wears all black, now has a vampire cape with standup collar, wears fake fangs, has red coloured contacts(she has perfect vision by the way) and hisses at people who look at or come near her....one teacher is extremely nervous around her as she heard gfgd threaten to drain another student of his blodd :smile:

He knew I couldn't do anything....but wanted to give me a heads up. He wants to help me get her into a treatment centre because as he said it's obvious the group home is only about $$$$$ and not concerned at all about her mental health.

All the teachers say that she is slipping further and further....for crying out loud even the goth kids say she is over the edge....

Sorry...needed to vent....now I'm off to cuddle with hubby for a bit and treat my other pcs' to mcdonald's.....

Carolanne

 

[Suz]

Doesn't the school have a dress code?

I know that sounds like a flip question but I'm serious. No way could someone walk through the high school where I used to work looking like that. Red contacts??? Holy Moly is right!

Go hug your husband, Carolanne. What are your choices? Is hospitalization or Residential Treatment Center (RTC) an option?

Suz

 

[everywoman]

I had a student several years ago that dressed very much like your difficult child. She had dyed black hair, wore blood red lipstick, and wore a black cape lined in red everyday. I looked past her appearance and worked on really trying to just "like" her as a person. She turned out to be okay in the end.

Do you think difficult child is doing this just to get attention. It seems like a lot of her actions are very public displays---telling people she's abused, dressing absurdly, etc....What if everyone just ignored it??? Or do you really think she has a mental disorder?

I noticed that she is diagnosed with odd. Usually that is comorbid with another disorder. Is she seeing any counselors or psychologist? Is she on any medications? What kind of group home is she in?

 

[rejectedmom]

Well she got everone's attention didn't she? A cry for help or just a narcissist taking things to an extreme? Only a good psychiatrist could decipher this behavior. I say use this to your advantage. Get her out of the foster home and into a psychiatric ward. You now have some very influential people in your corner. -RM

 

[kris]

<font color="purple">the red contacts are really no big deal (sarah had a pair she bought at a con. they're all the rage with-the anime crowd as well as the goths). i also wouldn't be overly concerned about the way she dresses. it's a phase....okay, it's been a long phase.

the real concern here is her behaviors. if even the goth crowd thinks she's over the top then something seems to be very wrong. clearly the folks at the GH are not concerned with-such things unless they directly affect them. is there anyone over their heads you can take this too. i know your daughter has forbidden anyone from talking to you so you might have to settle for just passing your concerns along & hoping for the best. maybe the Vice Principal would be the better person to express his concerns to TPTB.

kris </font>

 

[KFld]

WOW!!!! Don't really know what else to say but, WOW!!!!!

 

[ScentofCedar]

Am I remembering correctly, that there is a restraining order or something in effect, and that you cannot call your daughter yourself?

Is this the same girl who wanted money or wanted you to send her all new clothing not so long ago?

If I am remembering those parts correctly, then I say this is difficult child grabbing center stage. If it is possible for you to get a message to her (send a card, if you can) that you miss her, and that you know the good girl you raised is still in there.

I would absolutely not address the clothing or behavior issues. Let her figure that one out for herself.

I'm sorry, carolanne.

Your heart must be breaking.

Hang on. Stay strong. If you reward this behavior, you will see more of it.

She certainly did go from someone demanding a new backpack to someone unable to determine that her behaviors are abnormal pretty quickly.

And where did she get the money for the red eyes? There has to be an accomplice somewhere, from whom she is drawing strength and with whom she is laughing about the reactions her behavior is causing.

Barbara

 

[carolanne]

The only dress code actually enforced is no bare midriffs, no panties showing and no negative writings on tee shirts. The kids there are so diverse...preps, jocks,goth,nerds,....it seems to work...until you get a few like gfgd....who are so over the edge everyone avoids them.

She refuses to see her psychiatrist...and when she is there, she lies and says everything is fine...in fact, she doesn't dress strange for those appts at all....she learned how to play the adults around her very well in order to hide her sickness I think.

The home is privately owned and operated, no affiliation with child protective services or anything like that....teens can sign themselves onto a waiting list just by saying their home life is dangerous...and parents can place their kids there by saying they are a threat.....

I used to think it was attention she was after....but the last six months or so I've serviously begun to think she is mentally unstable. She has had this fascination with a graphic comic called Johnny the Homicidal Maniac....the writer is so disturbed! He draws these two teens who have dropped out of school, become pregnant and eat the baby in order to stay alive!!! It's bizarre....some of the stories she's told about her abuse come straight from that comic.

She seems to think she is a vampire now....thanks to the home not monitoring what she watches or reads....she is hooked on Ann Rice novels...Queen of the Damned, movies such as Dusk to Dawn....anything to do with vampires.

An interest in it is fine with me...I love vampire movies but the difference is I don't pull it into my life and let it become part of me....it's like she can't tell the difference between reality and fantasy!!!

I've tried contacting the home via a lawyer but the response is still the same....she is exploring....even the vp of the school keeps calling...but he gets brushed off as well.

I know what is going to happen....when she really messes up or slips so far over that the home can't ignore it any longer....then they will want me to step in and parent her and it will be too late....that's what happened when she ran away from there...


Carolanne

 

[Hound dog]

CarolAnne

I too think the way she wants to dress isn't much of an issue. Believe me, eventually it will pass. I also wondered if it ever would. And it did. (Although N didn't go to that extreme)
I would stay more focused on the behaviors. Hopefully the VP will be able to help in some way.

((((hugs))))