Alright, Susan, as you can see, I'm not the only frustrated one.
You are doing nothing to help your son. You cannot rationalize it in any way.
You feel the need to entertain him so he does not get high? That equals you are BABYSITTING him. When your husband told him to get a job and then walked out and slammed the door, you should have pushed your son out after him.
By the way, if he were REALLY looking for a job, he would not have had time to sit around and be bored, now would he?
Are you not getting it when we tell you these things? Or do you not believe us? I see you thank us, I see you hop onto other threads and tell your tale of woe, and then you say "well I did this and that" but you DON'T do those things! Then, you give updates, I and you leave out key information. Like when your son calls you to pick him up because his tooth hurts...Did you pick him up? Or when he had the audacity to put beer in the buggy at the store...did you buy it? The counselor told you to be honest with his PO. Well, WERE YOU?
I see that this is hard for you. I am doing to you what you need to do to your son. I am telling you that it is time to get on your big girl panties, THROW HIM OUT, (and if that means dropping him off at the vocational rehab, or whatever, then do that) and let God take care of him.
In case you forgot, you have a DAUGHTER who is getting married in a couple of weeks. SHE NEEDS YOU!!!
So tell your GROWN MAN of a son to put on his big boy boxers and get out.
THIS IS THE ONLY WAY THAT HE WILL GET HELP.