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Getting through Mother's Day
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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 733734" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>Thank you both for your replies. I am sorry for your grief and disappointment that you are living with. </p><p>New Leaf, a lot what you said about the grief process, longing for days gone by, training your thoughts and focus, trying to be thankful for the good years you had, and trying to live YOUR life, really resonated with me. I've been thinking those same things lately and wondering if that was the right way to respond and think, so it was good to hear someone else echo the same longings, grief, and response to that. </p><p>One thing I've noticed about this grief process, it's not linear. You can go back and forth between the stages. I switch between accepting that this is the way things are at the moment and leaving him in God's hands daily and total shock that we are in this place in life. He graduated from high school ten years ago yesterday, had a soccer scholarship to a community college and dreams of being a soccer coach, etc. We spent years encouraging and supporting him in this. Now, if he works, he works as a "temp" general laborer. His credit is shot. He sees us as the enemy and wants nothing to do with us because in his mind, we "never cared for him or did anything for him" and we currently refuse to co-sign on a car loan so he can buy a used "status car", something he has become fixated on in his Bipolar mind. </p><p>But like you, I want some peace and joy in my life. So I pray for him as God brings him to mind and trust that He will keep him and help him out of this darkness. Sometimes I just wish I could turn the good memories though; they almost seem to make things harder to accept. </p><p>May God comfort all of us as hurting parents.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 733734, member: 22597"] Thank you both for your replies. I am sorry for your grief and disappointment that you are living with. New Leaf, a lot what you said about the grief process, longing for days gone by, training your thoughts and focus, trying to be thankful for the good years you had, and trying to live YOUR life, really resonated with me. I've been thinking those same things lately and wondering if that was the right way to respond and think, so it was good to hear someone else echo the same longings, grief, and response to that. One thing I've noticed about this grief process, it's not linear. You can go back and forth between the stages. I switch between accepting that this is the way things are at the moment and leaving him in God's hands daily and total shock that we are in this place in life. He graduated from high school ten years ago yesterday, had a soccer scholarship to a community college and dreams of being a soccer coach, etc. We spent years encouraging and supporting him in this. Now, if he works, he works as a "temp" general laborer. His credit is shot. He sees us as the enemy and wants nothing to do with us because in his mind, we "never cared for him or did anything for him" and we currently refuse to co-sign on a car loan so he can buy a used "status car", something he has become fixated on in his Bipolar mind. But like you, I want some peace and joy in my life. So I pray for him as God brings him to mind and trust that He will keep him and help him out of this darkness. Sometimes I just wish I could turn the good memories though; they almost seem to make things harder to accept. May God comfort all of us as hurting parents. [/QUOTE]
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