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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 747409" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Nomad. I think the ONLY thing you can do with this is to set boundaries for yourselves, so that these people stay out of your space and your minds, to the extent that you require to have peace and safety. I don't think you can (or should) do one thing to handle or to comment upon or to advocate a position to your son.</p><p></p><p>Somebody very wise in my own life made the comment, "we can't learn lessons for others; they have to learn their own lessons." I think this is so for son. And thankfully, he is learning: I think that your having a (public) position on all of this can only backfire. He would react and push back against you; or alternatively it could affect his marriage. You would not want this ultimately, I think, because in time he would have resentments against you.</p><p></p><p>And finally, you do not want warfare, one set of in laws against the other. These people, these parents, may in fact (consciously or unconsciously) be competing against you, but your interests I think are not served by competing against them. Rather, I think your best interests are served by stepping out of the way, and letting these people show their true colors, for son to see, as seems to be happening.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 747409, member: 18958"] Nomad. I think the ONLY thing you can do with this is to set boundaries for yourselves, so that these people stay out of your space and your minds, to the extent that you require to have peace and safety. I don't think you can (or should) do one thing to handle or to comment upon or to advocate a position to your son. Somebody very wise in my own life made the comment, "we can't learn lessons for others; they have to learn their own lessons." I think this is so for son. And thankfully, he is learning: I think that your having a (public) position on all of this can only backfire. He would react and push back against you; or alternatively it could affect his marriage. You would not want this ultimately, I think, because in time he would have resentments against you. And finally, you do not want warfare, one set of in laws against the other. These people, these parents, may in fact (consciously or unconsciously) be competing against you, but your interests I think are not served by competing against them. Rather, I think your best interests are served by stepping out of the way, and letting these people show their true colors, for son to see, as seems to be happening. [/QUOTE]
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