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Good Grief...Experts need for Social Security
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<blockquote data-quote="seriously" data-source="post: 427388" data-attributes="member: 11920"><p>So it may be really hard but it sounds like you maybe need to detach from this situation and let things play out.</p><p></p><p>My guess is that the meeting may lead to someone at Social Security realizing that your grandson is being taken advantage of by his mother. He is not the first by a long shot. Whether they will do anything about that is hard to say.</p><p></p><p>As sick as it is that GFGmom is messing with his mind there is nothing you can do about that.</p><p></p><p>And the more you intrude into this the more pressure you put on difficult child to choose between you.</p><p></p><p>And he will always choose his mom.</p><p></p><p>The bond between a mother and child, especially when it is a "sick" bond fraught with pain and abuse, is intense and nearly impossible to break without breaking the kid. At least that has been my experience the couple of times I have been witness to or fostered a child with an abusive parent.</p><p></p><p>He is an adult and, unless you are prepared to file conservatorship proceedings and fight in court over it (you are unlikely to win) or you have clear and demonstrable proof that she is committing fraud, he has the right to make his own decisions.</p><p></p><p>And you need to respect that. No matter how hard it is to watch and know that things could be different.</p><p></p><p>If you do not force him to choose between you, then he will turn to you for help if the situation becomes desperate. </p><p></p><p>Do you understand the difference between SSDI (disability based on your Social Security payments while employed) and SSI (welfare program for the disabled and elderly)?</p><p></p><p>Unless difficult child has a parent who is themselves on SSDI or is dead, and he is determined to be an adult child with a disability, he would not be eligible for SSDI.</p><p></p><p>SSI has many more restrictions and requirements than SSDI. For example, SSI restricts the assets a recipient can have and requires extensive reporting of changes in household status, among other things.</p><p></p><p>SSDI does not because it is not welfare - it is the same as if you had bought a disability policy through your employer. They monitor and periodically re-assess your level of disability and require reporting of income from work but otherwise there are no asset limits or reporting requirements.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="seriously, post: 427388, member: 11920"] So it may be really hard but it sounds like you maybe need to detach from this situation and let things play out. My guess is that the meeting may lead to someone at Social Security realizing that your grandson is being taken advantage of by his mother. He is not the first by a long shot. Whether they will do anything about that is hard to say. As sick as it is that GFGmom is messing with his mind there is nothing you can do about that. And the more you intrude into this the more pressure you put on difficult child to choose between you. And he will always choose his mom. The bond between a mother and child, especially when it is a "sick" bond fraught with pain and abuse, is intense and nearly impossible to break without breaking the kid. At least that has been my experience the couple of times I have been witness to or fostered a child with an abusive parent. He is an adult and, unless you are prepared to file conservatorship proceedings and fight in court over it (you are unlikely to win) or you have clear and demonstrable proof that she is committing fraud, he has the right to make his own decisions. And you need to respect that. No matter how hard it is to watch and know that things could be different. If you do not force him to choose between you, then he will turn to you for help if the situation becomes desperate. Do you understand the difference between SSDI (disability based on your Social Security payments while employed) and SSI (welfare program for the disabled and elderly)? Unless difficult child has a parent who is themselves on SSDI or is dead, and he is determined to be an adult child with a disability, he would not be eligible for SSDI. SSI has many more restrictions and requirements than SSDI. For example, SSI restricts the assets a recipient can have and requires extensive reporting of changes in household status, among other things. SSDI does not because it is not welfare - it is the same as if you had bought a disability policy through your employer. They monitor and periodically re-assess your level of disability and require reporting of income from work but otherwise there are no asset limits or reporting requirements. [/QUOTE]
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