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<blockquote data-quote="Smithmom" data-source="post: 743183" data-attributes="member: 23371"><p>I believe that you said previously that your husband works in retail. This week, and for the next 6 weeks or so, I would imagine his stress level is up just by virtue of the season. Certainly he doesn't need any additional stress at home but in fairness, there may not be a lot you can do to reduce that extra work stress.</p><p></p><p>I have a different view here. First I have no comment on timing in terms of before or after the holiday. But to me knowing that my homeless son was getting some sleep and nutrition would be worth letting him into my home a few hours a day. But the parameters around that would be that it would be while my husband is not in the house, that he would arrive and leave at agreed on hours, confirm availability every morning, behave, be sober, etc, etc. But assuming I could get on with my own work I would allow him to sleep on my sofa, take a shower and have a meal while my husband was gone, with my husband's consent obviously. </p><p></p><p>My logic here is that he is living on the streets. As such sleeping is never safe. Meals are problematic. Showers difficult or impossible. The only stability he may have is those few hours of sleep at your house. The only chance of finding a job and moving forward is that time at your house. Is this enabling? Maybe. But this is also conditioned on his at least appearing to be sober daily. This is a scheduled arrangement. As we know, active addicts don't have schedules. So this is not a long term arrangement for a homeless active addict. It won't work. But if he is sober it is giving him help that does not harm me or my family. It gives me some piece of mind knowing that he is well. It gives him the ability to schedule an interview, go to the library to use the computer, etc.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Smithmom, post: 743183, member: 23371"] I believe that you said previously that your husband works in retail. This week, and for the next 6 weeks or so, I would imagine his stress level is up just by virtue of the season. Certainly he doesn't need any additional stress at home but in fairness, there may not be a lot you can do to reduce that extra work stress. I have a different view here. First I have no comment on timing in terms of before or after the holiday. But to me knowing that my homeless son was getting some sleep and nutrition would be worth letting him into my home a few hours a day. But the parameters around that would be that it would be while my husband is not in the house, that he would arrive and leave at agreed on hours, confirm availability every morning, behave, be sober, etc, etc. But assuming I could get on with my own work I would allow him to sleep on my sofa, take a shower and have a meal while my husband was gone, with my husband's consent obviously. My logic here is that he is living on the streets. As such sleeping is never safe. Meals are problematic. Showers difficult or impossible. The only stability he may have is those few hours of sleep at your house. The only chance of finding a job and moving forward is that time at your house. Is this enabling? Maybe. But this is also conditioned on his at least appearing to be sober daily. This is a scheduled arrangement. As we know, active addicts don't have schedules. So this is not a long term arrangement for a homeless active addict. It won't work. But if he is sober it is giving him help that does not harm me or my family. It gives me some piece of mind knowing that he is well. It gives him the ability to schedule an interview, go to the library to use the computer, etc. [/QUOTE]
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