Welcome. I'm so sorry you are facing such a difficult parenting journey. It happens, it is not your fault.
I just wanted to let you know that I have read your post and offer your my support. I don't have any personal experience similar to yours, but I did go through some very very difficult times with my daughter. I can relate to your fear and stress.
Hopefully others will come along to offer your their support and share their experiences with you. You are not alone. Hang in there.
