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<blockquote data-quote="Lola123" data-source="post: 749466" data-attributes="member: 24113"><p>I just found this site & I am so grateful. I completely relate to “trying to be strong”. Our daughter had a wonderful childhood. I was a stay at home mom, very involved in school & activities. I have been with my husband for over 30 years - he is great father. Our daughter truly had a privileged life. We sent our daughter off to college & things fell apart. She is now a college dropout engaging in high risk behaviors. She moved home. We cut her off financially once the high risk behaviors started. It’s been about 3 months. We told her to get a job which she did. We also told her she will always have a place to stay & food to eat (with some conditions). She has always struggled with self esteem issues but still accomplished so much. I do think she has undiagnosed ADD and without us around to keep things on track things fell apart when she went to college. She also suffered a traumatic experience in college. She had help for awhile but now refuses to get help. She refuses to tell us anything about her life. We know she is smoking pot probably to self Medicate. I guess my question is we r at the beginning of what I suspect will be a long road. It is severely impacting our family - we have a wonderful 16 year old who often feels he is in the middle. We have very close extended family. We have very supportive friends although it is really hard to talk about this stuff in depth. I have been reading all of the threads & will heed the advice to control the things I can. But she is so angry & feels so confined I fear she is going to leave. Once she does I think my husband & I will never be the same. We r both professionals & it is starting to impact our work. I’m open to any advice. I’m so scared we r going to lose her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lola123, post: 749466, member: 24113"] I just found this site & I am so grateful. I completely relate to “trying to be strong”. Our daughter had a wonderful childhood. I was a stay at home mom, very involved in school & activities. I have been with my husband for over 30 years - he is great father. Our daughter truly had a privileged life. We sent our daughter off to college & things fell apart. She is now a college dropout engaging in high risk behaviors. She moved home. We cut her off financially once the high risk behaviors started. It’s been about 3 months. We told her to get a job which she did. We also told her she will always have a place to stay & food to eat (with some conditions). She has always struggled with self esteem issues but still accomplished so much. I do think she has undiagnosed ADD and without us around to keep things on track things fell apart when she went to college. She also suffered a traumatic experience in college. She had help for awhile but now refuses to get help. She refuses to tell us anything about her life. We know she is smoking pot probably to self Medicate. I guess my question is we r at the beginning of what I suspect will be a long road. It is severely impacting our family - we have a wonderful 16 year old who often feels he is in the middle. We have very close extended family. We have very supportive friends although it is really hard to talk about this stuff in depth. I have been reading all of the threads & will heed the advice to control the things I can. But she is so angry & feels so confined I fear she is going to leave. Once she does I think my husband & I will never be the same. We r both professionals & it is starting to impact our work. I’m open to any advice. I’m so scared we r going to lose her. [/QUOTE]
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