I figured I would hear from him sooner or later, just thought it wouldn't be this soon. Anyway as I suspected, his sudden switch from calling multiple times a day to not calling at all for days was because he was relapsing. I'm not sure if it was meth, heroin, or something else. He was in tears, calling from the ER because he had taken a bunch of his Xanax (he said it was to raise the level of narcotics in his system so he could get into detox. Whether that's true or not is anybody's guess). The plan is that once he gets out of the ER he'll go into detox and then into rehab. In the meantime he says he's taken a leave of absence from his job...which he says gives him job security when he gets out of rehab, but he's only been at this job a couple of months so I'm skeptical. And when he told me he had been relapsing, I simply said "I know." Because I did know, in my gut. I don't know what, if any, kind of impact this will have on his relationship with his partner. I wish I could reach out to him but my son never got around to giving me his phone number or email address, and both of them have deactivated their Facebook accounts because the toxic ex has been stalking him, both on Facebook and in the real world, so I can't reach out to him that way either.
I'm proud of him in a perverse kind of way. Unlike the first time he was in Chicago, the time he spent using was much greater than the time he spent in rehab or detox, and then when he got out of rehab he would start using again right away. He's had several relapses over the last couple of years but they have been relatively short in duration followed by a longer period of recovery. He typically stays clean for maybe six months and then relapses for anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks. I guess that's progress of a sort. I have no idea if he's still been going to meetings and interacting with his sponsor or not. My instinct tells me he's not, because he hasn't mentioned attending meetings in a while and he usually says something about it when he is actively going. But my instincts aren't always correct, so I can't take that to the bank.
I knew that if he had relapsed he would tell me about it at some point, even if he had denied it initially. He knows that I almost always "know" when he is relapsing, so I'm not clear why he denies, denies, denies, and then finally admits to it. He should know by now that when he finally does admit he's relapsed, I don't pass judgment on him; actually just the opposite. About a year ago he had relapsed and when he finally told me, I told him I was proud of him. He couldn't understand why I was proud of him for relapsing. I said it wasn't the relapse that made me proud, obviously, but the fact that it didn't take long for him to do what he had to do to get back on the path to recovery.
We didn't talk long because his partner called him and he hung up with me to take that call. I feel certain he will call me tomorrow and that he will keep me posted on his next steps. At least it was good to hear his voice and know that he's okay or headed in that direction.
I'm proud of him in a perverse kind of way. Unlike the first time he was in Chicago, the time he spent using was much greater than the time he spent in rehab or detox, and then when he got out of rehab he would start using again right away. He's had several relapses over the last couple of years but they have been relatively short in duration followed by a longer period of recovery. He typically stays clean for maybe six months and then relapses for anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks. I guess that's progress of a sort. I have no idea if he's still been going to meetings and interacting with his sponsor or not. My instinct tells me he's not, because he hasn't mentioned attending meetings in a while and he usually says something about it when he is actively going. But my instincts aren't always correct, so I can't take that to the bank.
I knew that if he had relapsed he would tell me about it at some point, even if he had denied it initially. He knows that I almost always "know" when he is relapsing, so I'm not clear why he denies, denies, denies, and then finally admits to it. He should know by now that when he finally does admit he's relapsed, I don't pass judgment on him; actually just the opposite. About a year ago he had relapsed and when he finally told me, I told him I was proud of him. He couldn't understand why I was proud of him for relapsing. I said it wasn't the relapse that made me proud, obviously, but the fact that it didn't take long for him to do what he had to do to get back on the path to recovery.
We didn't talk long because his partner called him and he hung up with me to take that call. I feel certain he will call me tomorrow and that he will keep me posted on his next steps. At least it was good to hear his voice and know that he's okay or headed in that direction.
