TNT,
Don't be so hard on yourself. I agree with many others here. You minimally without getting too involved did what your heart told you to do. I think for myself when in these situations the hard part is that they want an immediate answer to their problems (from us). We are pushed up against the wall, so to speak with out emotions. If we could have time to step away for a day or two to make decisions not based on our emotions we'd often times, I think do better and react the way we know we should and can given some time to sort things through.
However, we have to give ourselves credit for the progress we've made. I kind of look at it sometimes like we are the Enablers and they are our addiction. We have to learn new ways of coping with our addiction of rescuing, fixing and if at all possible for me the first step has been to step away from the immediate need to handle the problem at hand. Everything always seems like (and sometimes is) a crisis and has to be made better that instant, according to our Difficult Child's. Since they most often won't be the one's to do that, we have to.
Detach, detach, detach with love. That is the only way you'll ever have some peace. Yes, there's still pain and hurt but not being in the middle of their tornado's you will start to feel a little better day to day. Never completely better but better.
Get rest because when we are tired we also can make poor decisions and decisions that bring "us" immediate relief from the emotional hurt we feel over their situation.
