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Heartbroken seeking support and advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 764716" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>Welcome and wow…your story reads like a novel, NOT due to length, but due to the interesting detail, ups and downs, ins and outs and clear cut strength/fortitude.</p><p></p><p>Personally, I’m not so sure your blowing up was so harmful. There ARE consequences to repeated irresponsible behaviors, disrespect and crossing boundaries. And , well, I guess he discovered them…getting kicked out of his home and badly damaging (at least for now) his relationship with his mother. In a way, you set an EXAMPLE. A good one. He pushed and pushed and, well…he pushed his way OUT the door.</p><p></p><p>I agree…his military training plus his NON use of drugs are extraordinary positives.</p><p></p><p>I personally would be open to supporting him a LITTLE in certain ways IF his attitude changes a LOT …for example…he wishes to (sincerely) get short term therapy or perhaps short term training in a trade for example. But he likely would be entitled to gov’t assistance anyway to pay for that. And if so, he would be wise to explore that.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps some additional training/education related to computers or technology. With a beefed up resume, he likely could get a fairly high paying job that would certainly boost his SEL ESTEEM…where perhaps some of his issues lie.</p><p></p><p>Now that he is out of the home and you finally have some quiet and peace, I would relish and cherish it and would big time BIG time HESITATE to let him back in. Nooo need for guilt!!!! Consider that 3k a generous starting gift because enough is enough.</p><p></p><p>I wouldn’t feel guilty one bit. Hopefully, in due time, reality will hit him and he will figure it all out. Blessings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 764716, member: 4152"] Welcome and wow…your story reads like a novel, NOT due to length, but due to the interesting detail, ups and downs, ins and outs and clear cut strength/fortitude. Personally, I’m not so sure your blowing up was so harmful. There ARE consequences to repeated irresponsible behaviors, disrespect and crossing boundaries. And , well, I guess he discovered them…getting kicked out of his home and badly damaging (at least for now) his relationship with his mother. In a way, you set an EXAMPLE. A good one. He pushed and pushed and, well…he pushed his way OUT the door. I agree…his military training plus his NON use of drugs are extraordinary positives. I personally would be open to supporting him a LITTLE in certain ways IF his attitude changes a LOT …for example…he wishes to (sincerely) get short term therapy or perhaps short term training in a trade for example. But he likely would be entitled to gov’t assistance anyway to pay for that. And if so, he would be wise to explore that. Perhaps some additional training/education related to computers or technology. With a beefed up resume, he likely could get a fairly high paying job that would certainly boost his SEL ESTEEM…where perhaps some of his issues lie. Now that he is out of the home and you finally have some quiet and peace, I would relish and cherish it and would big time BIG time HESITATE to let him back in. Nooo need for guilt!!!! Consider that 3k a generous starting gift because enough is enough. I wouldn’t feel guilty one bit. Hopefully, in due time, reality will hit him and he will figure it all out. Blessings. [/QUOTE]
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