He's getting a little better ...

[TerryJ2]

I texted difficult child after my dr appointment and asked if he wanted a Starbucks. He said "Sure."
Wow! He's eating again!
(I guess I forgot to tell you all that part. We practically had to force-feed him this week. Three nights ago, I made him a hamburger and cut it into 4. He cut one of the pieces in half again. Ate two fries from his girlfriend's take-out lunch. Tue I don't think he ate anything.
So, that helps put the Reese's Peanut Butter cups and sushi leftovers into a bit more perspective. (In addition as lures to home ... )
Right now I've got him in the kitchen, shredding. A lot. Two filing cabinets filled with-old investments and taxes. (1997-2002). That's to pay me back for the two tanks of gas.
Fingers crossed that he continues to improve.

 

[Scent of Cedar *]

Why had he lost his appetite, Terry?

Cedar

 

[TerryJ2]

I don't know but think it was part of a depressive episode.

 

[BusynMember]

It can also be drugs. Not saying he's using drugs, but that's one reason. My daughter, who is normally well filled out, was skinny as a stick on drugs and we thought it was because she was dieting (she wasn't eating either).
I hope he remains in a better frame of mine and starts to be reasonable.

 

[TerryJ2]

He spent the night at his friend's "house" last night. I posted on a different thread ("So, we told him to find better friends").
I think I outed him. I went to pick him up, and walked right in with them. difficult child said, "You can't just invited yourself into someone's house." (lol. The times I've told him that!) I said, "Well, if you're going to be moving out here, I need to see what it's like."
His friend, E, looked surprised.
difficult child backpedaled and said, "I said I was moving out. I didn't say I was moving out here."
Um-hmm.

 

[TerryJ2]

Cedar, I think he's doing pot.
husband set his wrist alarm for 3 a.m. to check difficult child's backpack (IOW, when difficult child is asleep). difficult child even carried it into the bathroom with him. Actions speak louder than words.
husband doesn't want a confrontation. At least, not tonight. It seems to work better when difficult child is confronted in the daytime with whatever item he has and we can all talk about it at length.

 

[pandora404]

husband set his wrist alarm for 3 a.m. to check difficult child's backpack (IOW, when difficult child is asleep).

How supportive! Your husband sounds awesome! Sounds like you two are a great team!

 

[HeadlightsMom]

TerryJ2 -- Yikes. Not eating. A scary added complication (as if there wasn't enough already). So....... What did your husband discover by setting his wrist alarm at 3 a.m. (a good idea to avoid confrontation)? Did you learn anything new?

Backpacks....it's amazing how important backpacks can be. Wouldn't have realized that before we were parents. But our experience with backpacks sounds similar to yours. And, enough years into this kind of parenting journey, it makes sense why.

Thinking of you and wishing all the best for good days...

 

[Tired Mom]

I can relate to the not eating. I don't think it was the drugs for my son (I could be wrong he definitely did drugs) for him it seemed to be a control issue. Like we couldn't force him to eat. To me the grandparent didn't help this issue. On my husbands side they are obsessed with being thin. I think my husbands mother might be anorexic she actually has similar eating patterns to my son. In that she wont eat anything all day and then have a milk shake at the end of the day and that it. My husbands father always has to comment on people's weight and they both will praise him up and down for being thin. I have tried asking them to not to do this but its like they don't hear me.

 

[BusynMember]

I can relate to the not eating. I don't think it was the drugs for my son (I could be wrong he definitely did drugs) for him it seemed to be a control issue. Like we couldn't force him to eat. To me the grandparent didn't help this issue. On my husbands side they are obsessed with being thin. I think my husbands mother might be anorexic she actually has similar eating patterns to my son. In that she wont eat anything all day and then have a milk shake at the end of the day and that it. My husbands father always has to comment on people's weight and they both will praise him up and down for being thin. I have tried asking them to not to do this but its like they don't hear me.

 

[BusynMember]

It is a bad idea to discount drugs especially in the case of our deceptive darlings. Pot causes munchies. It would not cause weight loss. Speed does. If perchance he actually is anorexic that is very dangerous too as they vomit, use bottles of laxatives at one time, get very ill and can die. Coincidentally i just finished reading the karen carpenter story. Anorexia is as dangerous as drugs and as hard to treat. It is far more often a female issue even now.
I believe son is using possibly a drug that suppresses appetire although i know how hard it is for us incuding me to think beyond pot. But it is dangerous to dismiss the possibility. This started with new girlfriend.
i am writing from hospital because i feel great after surgery and felt this was important. Please keep an open mind. Check his room, ceell phone, fb,talk to ex. Not eating is a rred flag for many serious problems and pot would not do that
hugs!!!!

 

[TerryJ2]

After eating my homemade tacos so fast, I didn't even see him put them in his mouth, difficult child fell sound asleep upstairs. I guess not eating catches up!
So around 9, I snuck in and grabbed the backpack. The only interesting item was a cigarette butt holder that fits in a car cup holder. It was clean but it smelled to high heaven. Mixed tobacco, flavored tobacco and pot. When I'm feeling better, I'm going to stop by a vape place and ask for a show-and-tell. I will be their entertainment for a slow Monday.

 

[Lil]

i am writing from hospital because i feel great after surgery

Fantastic to hear!!! So glad you are doing well!

The only interesting item was a cigarette butt holder that fits in a car cup holder. It was clean but it smelled to high heaven.

Well that sounds like the reason he took it to the bathroom...to clean the ashtray. If I recall, he's not supposed to be smoking or letting people smoke in the car? Also...if you aren't a drug dog I think there's a lot of stuff that may smell like pot and lets not forget the "fake" pot. Legal to buy, MUCH worse than pot, AND makes you sick to your stomach, if all the barf I cleaned up in my house is any indication. So...I wouldn't discount that as a culprit. MWM is right...real pot makes you hungry, not the opposite.

 

[TerryJ2]

I'm not a drug dog? When we were little, my little sister and I used to crawl on all fours and bark. We ate Lucky Charms out of bowls for our dog good, and separated out the charms for treats. ROFL.