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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 747553" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>CSH welcome. I'm sorry you're struggling with your adult son's behaviors and choices. It's a tough path when our adult kids go off the rails, for whatever reason.</p><p></p><p>There's an article at the bottom of my post here about detachment, it may be helpful for you. As Copa mentioned, you may want to contact NAMI, which is the National Alliance on Mental Illness, you can contact them online, they have chapters in many cities. They offer parent groups which I gained a lot from attending. Here is the contact info: <a href="https://www.nami.org/Find-Support" target="_blank">Find Support | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness</a></p><p>Delancey Street is another resource that may be helpful to your son: <a href="http://www.delanceystreetfoundation.org" target="_blank">Delancey Street Foundation - Home</a></p><p>The Nationwide support line may be of assistance, they offer local resources for those in need, dial 211.</p><p></p><p>My daughter has undiagnosed issues......mental illness runs in my bio-family, my sister is bi-polar, my brother is schizophrenic, I grew up surrounded by people with various levels of mental incapacities......I understand the debilitating FOG (fear, obligation and guilt) it creates. It took a lot of therapy and a lot of professional support for me to remove myself from being the care taker of those around me. It's not an easy path. The most difficult thing I've ever done is to disengage from my daughter's choices and behaviors.....after a long time of setting boundaries, she is now grabbing the reins of her own life. </p><p></p><p>The best advice I can offer you is to get as much support as you can, many of us here enter therapy, a safe place to go to get OUR needs met, to find ways to care for ourselves, to learn how to set boundaries, to redefine our parental roles in healthy ways, to learn how to accept what we can't change and let go of what no longer serves us. You've been at this a long time, many of us forget how to care for ourselves when our focus has been on our adult child for so long.......we need to remember how important self care, self love and nurturing ourselves is. </p><p></p><p>Take really good care of YOU now. Continue posting, it helps to share our story and receive support from others who've 'been there.'</p><p>I'm glad you're here, you're not alone. Remember, you matter too, your needs and desires and feelings matter.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 747553, member: 13542"] CSH welcome. I'm sorry you're struggling with your adult son's behaviors and choices. It's a tough path when our adult kids go off the rails, for whatever reason. There's an article at the bottom of my post here about detachment, it may be helpful for you. As Copa mentioned, you may want to contact NAMI, which is the National Alliance on Mental Illness, you can contact them online, they have chapters in many cities. They offer parent groups which I gained a lot from attending. Here is the contact info: [URL="https://www.nami.org/Find-Support"]Find Support | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness[/URL] Delancey Street is another resource that may be helpful to your son: [URL="http://www.delanceystreetfoundation.org"]Delancey Street Foundation - Home[/URL] The Nationwide support line may be of assistance, they offer local resources for those in need, dial 211. My daughter has undiagnosed issues......mental illness runs in my bio-family, my sister is bi-polar, my brother is schizophrenic, I grew up surrounded by people with various levels of mental incapacities......I understand the debilitating FOG (fear, obligation and guilt) it creates. It took a lot of therapy and a lot of professional support for me to remove myself from being the care taker of those around me. It's not an easy path. The most difficult thing I've ever done is to disengage from my daughter's choices and behaviors.....after a long time of setting boundaries, she is now grabbing the reins of her own life. The best advice I can offer you is to get as much support as you can, many of us here enter therapy, a safe place to go to get OUR needs met, to find ways to care for ourselves, to learn how to set boundaries, to redefine our parental roles in healthy ways, to learn how to accept what we can't change and let go of what no longer serves us. You've been at this a long time, many of us forget how to care for ourselves when our focus has been on our adult child for so long.......we need to remember how important self care, self love and nurturing ourselves is. Take really good care of YOU now. Continue posting, it helps to share our story and receive support from others who've 'been there.' I'm glad you're here, you're not alone. Remember, you matter too, your needs and desires and feelings matter. [/QUOTE]
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