Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Hi I am new
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="CSH" data-source="post: 747555" data-attributes="member: 23700"><p>Wow, your words brought me to tears this morning. Thank you so much for your response. It has been a long road and I am so very tired of walking it. Sometimes I am terrified that I will never get off and that after I die my daughter will have to continue to walk it and then my grandson till my son finally leaves this earth. The worst part about it, is that in the beginning all those years ago I wanted to help little boy him so much. I did literally everything I could do. I went everywhere I could go. I searched out everything I could find. To no avail. It just kept getting darker and harder and scarier. There was nothing I could do to help him. Now that road has led me to a place I never thought I would be. Where I am so hardened to his life and his suffering that I dread seeing a unknown number come up on the phone. That as soon as I answer I say "What do you want?" Cause I know that is why he is calling me (15 times or more in 1 day). I do not feel love or happiness when I think I might see him. I feel fear and despair and worry. He came for Christmas Day and it was not fun for anyone. Everyone was on pins and needles. He felt judged and excluded and the rest of us felt horror (for how he looked) and even some resentment. We watched him like a hawk so that he didn't do anything - at all. Cause the reality is that he could have and has done any number of things, from big to little - Steal, use, blow up, say inappropriate things to the children, etc. </p><p></p><p>I have read that article about Detachment,it was one of the first things I read when I landed here. I was so desperate I just typed some wild thing in my google search box about my adult son etc and I got a hit here. I feel I must have been led here. I have gotten so much help in just the short time I have been here. I am going to read it again, and probably need to read it often.</p><p></p><p>As I write (and write <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> I see that I really do need to get into therapy. My daughter has told me this but for some reason I just have not done it. It isn't that i am against it, just for some reason I have not taken the steps needed. I am going to look into that and see what will be my best options there. Obviously I need to talk about this and get some help. </p><p></p><p>Thanks you so much for your response and your kind words. I really do need to take care of myself. I have plenty of health issues with my body going on right now and I need my mind to hang in there. LOL I have been saying my warranty expired at 60 and all heck broke loose. Thanks again. ♥</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CSH, post: 747555, member: 23700"] Wow, your words brought me to tears this morning. Thank you so much for your response. It has been a long road and I am so very tired of walking it. Sometimes I am terrified that I will never get off and that after I die my daughter will have to continue to walk it and then my grandson till my son finally leaves this earth. The worst part about it, is that in the beginning all those years ago I wanted to help little boy him so much. I did literally everything I could do. I went everywhere I could go. I searched out everything I could find. To no avail. It just kept getting darker and harder and scarier. There was nothing I could do to help him. Now that road has led me to a place I never thought I would be. Where I am so hardened to his life and his suffering that I dread seeing a unknown number come up on the phone. That as soon as I answer I say "What do you want?" Cause I know that is why he is calling me (15 times or more in 1 day). I do not feel love or happiness when I think I might see him. I feel fear and despair and worry. He came for Christmas Day and it was not fun for anyone. Everyone was on pins and needles. He felt judged and excluded and the rest of us felt horror (for how he looked) and even some resentment. We watched him like a hawk so that he didn't do anything - at all. Cause the reality is that he could have and has done any number of things, from big to little - Steal, use, blow up, say inappropriate things to the children, etc. I have read that article about Detachment,it was one of the first things I read when I landed here. I was so desperate I just typed some wild thing in my google search box about my adult son etc and I got a hit here. I feel I must have been led here. I have gotten so much help in just the short time I have been here. I am going to read it again, and probably need to read it often. As I write (and write ;) I see that I really do need to get into therapy. My daughter has told me this but for some reason I just have not done it. It isn't that i am against it, just for some reason I have not taken the steps needed. I am going to look into that and see what will be my best options there. Obviously I need to talk about this and get some help. Thanks you so much for your response and your kind words. I really do need to take care of myself. I have plenty of health issues with my body going on right now and I need my mind to hang in there. LOL I have been saying my warranty expired at 60 and all heck broke loose. Thanks again. ♥ [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Hi I am new
Top