rejectedmom
New Member
Hi al it has been a while since I've posted but many of you might remember me. difficult child 2 is out of prison and in a Group home and program that he is supposed to work for two years. Yep here we go again but maybe 3's the charm. We had a nice TG and a new grandbaby which is now why I am writing.
difficult child 1 my 33 year old daughter just had her first baby. She was a pregzilla and it hasn't ended. She finds fault with everyone and has her inlaws cleaning her house and buying her expensive gifts etc. She is in full narcissistic mode and had been for about ten months. But that is just background here is the issue.
difficult child 1 never sent out Thank you notes for her wedding gifts and many people were hurt by that. These family and friends made a point of letting me know their feelings. She is married three years now. Her response to my telling her that people had hurt felling from the lack of appropriate acknowlegement of their gifts and good wishes was. "They need to just get over it." difficult child quit her therapist in what was apparently a nasty to do saying that the therapist was just stringing her along for the money. difficult child 1 wanted to have a baby and therapist didn't feel she was ready. Yes folks this is the same therapist that she took difficult child 2 to without my permission. The same one she found because therapist was willing to remove the bipolar diagnosis that the DR had put on her in HS.
Anyway......
Recently easy child 1 and I hosted a baby shower for difficult child 1. It was a large party with relatives coming from all over the country to attend and several of the guests stayed overnight in my home.
To make it easy for my daughter to send Thank you notes I printed up mailing lables and kept a list of all the names and the gifts. This was given to her the day of the shower. Two and a half weeks later she delivered her baby earlier than expected. After six weeks she had still not sent out the Thank you's for the shower gifts and had moved on to the birth announcements. I asked her if she was going to include a thank you with the announcement which is something that she had mentioned to me when she ordered the announcements. She told me that she was not and all indications were that she was not going to send the Thank you notes at all.
I was hurt and upset that she would do this to my family and friends again, I didn't want the same people who were so generous to her on both occasions to once again go un-acknowledged . I decided to send out a formal thank you on her behalf which I had imprinted with her name. I purposely kept it very simple so she could easily send a personal note at a future date if she was so inclined.
When my daughter found out that I had mailed this formal Thank you note she was furious. I apologized but she is now forbidding me from seeing my new grandson. I am at a loss as to what more I can do.
I also do not really know what I should have done in this situation knowing that her inaction was going to really hurt friends and family again. While I understand why she is angry, I think she is over the top and horrible to punish me by not allowing me to see my grandson. Those of you who remember me know how cruel and abusive she can be and quite frankly I am concerned that if she doesnt' get herself back into therapy things could get really bad. What should I now do to make this better?
difficult child 1 my 33 year old daughter just had her first baby. She was a pregzilla and it hasn't ended. She finds fault with everyone and has her inlaws cleaning her house and buying her expensive gifts etc. She is in full narcissistic mode and had been for about ten months. But that is just background here is the issue.
difficult child 1 never sent out Thank you notes for her wedding gifts and many people were hurt by that. These family and friends made a point of letting me know their feelings. She is married three years now. Her response to my telling her that people had hurt felling from the lack of appropriate acknowlegement of their gifts and good wishes was. "They need to just get over it." difficult child quit her therapist in what was apparently a nasty to do saying that the therapist was just stringing her along for the money. difficult child 1 wanted to have a baby and therapist didn't feel she was ready. Yes folks this is the same therapist that she took difficult child 2 to without my permission. The same one she found because therapist was willing to remove the bipolar diagnosis that the DR had put on her in HS.
Anyway......
Recently easy child 1 and I hosted a baby shower for difficult child 1. It was a large party with relatives coming from all over the country to attend and several of the guests stayed overnight in my home.
To make it easy for my daughter to send Thank you notes I printed up mailing lables and kept a list of all the names and the gifts. This was given to her the day of the shower. Two and a half weeks later she delivered her baby earlier than expected. After six weeks she had still not sent out the Thank you's for the shower gifts and had moved on to the birth announcements. I asked her if she was going to include a thank you with the announcement which is something that she had mentioned to me when she ordered the announcements. She told me that she was not and all indications were that she was not going to send the Thank you notes at all.
I was hurt and upset that she would do this to my family and friends again, I didn't want the same people who were so generous to her on both occasions to once again go un-acknowledged . I decided to send out a formal thank you on her behalf which I had imprinted with her name. I purposely kept it very simple so she could easily send a personal note at a future date if she was so inclined.
When my daughter found out that I had mailed this formal Thank you note she was furious. I apologized but she is now forbidding me from seeing my new grandson. I am at a loss as to what more I can do.
I also do not really know what I should have done in this situation knowing that her inaction was going to really hurt friends and family again. While I understand why she is angry, I think she is over the top and horrible to punish me by not allowing me to see my grandson. Those of you who remember me know how cruel and abusive she can be and quite frankly I am concerned that if she doesnt' get herself back into therapy things could get really bad. What should I now do to make this better?
