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How to pick a therapist?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 742775" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think there is merit to letting him stew in his own juices. But we all know the mess I am in. I am in no position to give advice.</p><p></p><p>The first decision I would make is whether this therapy is about you or about him. What I mean here is this: Is the result you want a change in you, how you feel and behave or is about effecting some change in him? I think I am hearing that it is the first.</p><p></p><p>I hear you saying that first and foremost you need relief. You need boundaries that protect you. You need to return to yourself. If he won't conform to a level of behavior that allows him to integrate into the family, then he needs to stay away. That is what I hear.</p><p></p><p>Here is my commentary on that: You have so much on your plate. Nobody has the psychic energy to handle all of this together. What you are asking of yourself very few people could do. You need to honor yourself and your needs. You need to protect yourself.</p><p></p><p>Now I am going to talk out of the other side of my mouth: You know what happened to me when I acted from this place. At first there was relief. For one month I was proud of myself, until I crashed. Now. My son is more vulnerable than is yours. He is older and we have been at this much longer. And you have other kids. You would probably not become as vulnerable as did I. But it is something to think about.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 742775, member: 18958"] I think there is merit to letting him stew in his own juices. But we all know the mess I am in. I am in no position to give advice. The first decision I would make is whether this therapy is about you or about him. What I mean here is this: Is the result you want a change in you, how you feel and behave or is about effecting some change in him? I think I am hearing that it is the first. I hear you saying that first and foremost you need relief. You need boundaries that protect you. You need to return to yourself. If he won't conform to a level of behavior that allows him to integrate into the family, then he needs to stay away. That is what I hear. Here is my commentary on that: You have so much on your plate. Nobody has the psychic energy to handle all of this together. What you are asking of yourself very few people could do. You need to honor yourself and your needs. You need to protect yourself. Now I am going to talk out of the other side of my mouth: You know what happened to me when I acted from this place. At first there was relief. For one month I was proud of myself, until I crashed. Now. My son is more vulnerable than is yours. He is older and we have been at this much longer. And you have other kids. You would probably not become as vulnerable as did I. But it is something to think about. [/QUOTE]
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How to pick a therapist?
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