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How to pick a therapist?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 742801" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Im a big fan of CBT.</p><p></p><p>I went to many therapists as they tend to quit one place and move to another and I got a lot of help even with having to switch. I had a few rules for my therapists. I will share mine, but you will find you have your own.</p><p></p><p>1. First off I wanted therapists my gender, close to my age or older.</p><p> I just didnt think even a gifted 25 year old lived enough life to help me even when I was 25. She would be going by the text book and as you all know, I am very leery of the DSM. If you want to learn about how the DSM adds diagnoses check youtube. It is a vote of hands because there are NO tests to prove a diagnosis. I also wanted somebody focused on issues not a diagnosis although they sll had to mention my mood disorder for insurance. But I preferred to deal with the issues at hand and how to cope the best.</p><p></p><p>2. No therapist should scold you or tell you what you MUST do. I came to most conclusions myself and got lots of help from therapists. Hard to explain. They, if good, are like wise friends. And you should feel comfortable telling them even the worst.</p><p></p><p>3. They needed to be alert and remember what we spoke of week to week by taking good notes and checking them before our apointment. This saves time and lets you know they are listening. Bart went to a therapist as a boy who always looked as if he were trying to keep his eyes open! I fired him.He wasnt interested.</p><p></p><p>I do like specialists for certain issues. I went to a psychologist with the PHD who specialized in adopted people and their families after a little boy we adopted at age six from an orphanage took off from our family in his 20s. I wanted/needed to understand as I was crushed. Two years of weekly therapy explained that by age 6 the person was already formed and that since he had never had affection or love, he could not attach to a family. I learned so much....it helped me with my other adopted kids who came as babies and WERE attached and to this day I am very close to them. Like BFFs. I am wondering if an addiction therapist could help you. Then again a therapist needs to teach you coping skills too, not just talk about your kid.</p><p></p><p>I barely go to therapy now and havent gone much since I hit 50 and was busy having such a good life. But I am always willing to go if something overwhelms me and with my anxiety something comes up now and then.</p><p></p><p>Remember that a therapist works for you and you can fire anyone who doesnt work well for you.</p><p></p><p>One last word. This forum has been awesome to me for MYSELF. I got more out of discussing my abusive family here than from any therapist. I was able to emotionally and physically cut the cord from my family because of this forum. No easy trick since I had a trauma bond to even the deceased people. You will gain a lot here. These are good folks.</p><p></p><p>Stick around!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 742801, member: 1550"] Im a big fan of CBT. I went to many therapists as they tend to quit one place and move to another and I got a lot of help even with having to switch. I had a few rules for my therapists. I will share mine, but you will find you have your own. 1. First off I wanted therapists my gender, close to my age or older. I just didnt think even a gifted 25 year old lived enough life to help me even when I was 25. She would be going by the text book and as you all know, I am very leery of the DSM. If you want to learn about how the DSM adds diagnoses check youtube. It is a vote of hands because there are NO tests to prove a diagnosis. I also wanted somebody focused on issues not a diagnosis although they sll had to mention my mood disorder for insurance. But I preferred to deal with the issues at hand and how to cope the best. 2. No therapist should scold you or tell you what you MUST do. I came to most conclusions myself and got lots of help from therapists. Hard to explain. They, if good, are like wise friends. And you should feel comfortable telling them even the worst. 3. They needed to be alert and remember what we spoke of week to week by taking good notes and checking them before our apointment. This saves time and lets you know they are listening. Bart went to a therapist as a boy who always looked as if he were trying to keep his eyes open! I fired him.He wasnt interested. I do like specialists for certain issues. I went to a psychologist with the PHD who specialized in adopted people and their families after a little boy we adopted at age six from an orphanage took off from our family in his 20s. I wanted/needed to understand as I was crushed. Two years of weekly therapy explained that by age 6 the person was already formed and that since he had never had affection or love, he could not attach to a family. I learned so much....it helped me with my other adopted kids who came as babies and WERE attached and to this day I am very close to them. Like BFFs. I am wondering if an addiction therapist could help you. Then again a therapist needs to teach you coping skills too, not just talk about your kid. I barely go to therapy now and havent gone much since I hit 50 and was busy having such a good life. But I am always willing to go if something overwhelms me and with my anxiety something comes up now and then. Remember that a therapist works for you and you can fire anyone who doesnt work well for you. One last word. This forum has been awesome to me for MYSELF. I got more out of discussing my abusive family here than from any therapist. I was able to emotionally and physically cut the cord from my family because of this forum. No easy trick since I had a trauma bond to even the deceased people. You will gain a lot here. These are good folks. Stick around! [/QUOTE]
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