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Husband has an adult child that was adopted.
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 717794" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I agree with going slow. I also agree that your husband will probably need some support after he meets his oldest daughter for the first time. Is there any way that you could leave the younger children at home and just you and hubby go for a long weekend trip to meet her? Then hubby could go to meet her while you stay in the hotel room or whatever, and were there when he got back from meeting her? I think having the kids there might be too much. I think it might be overwhelming for everyone. </p><p></p><p>Has his daughter told you that the family treated her differently after having their biological daughter? I missed that if you posted it. Don't judge by photos alone. If you were to judge by photos alone, you would think my family didn't take me on any trips or do anything with me when I was a teen. Reality is that I went on more trips than my brother and did FAR more with my parents than he did. I was the well behaved child and got WAY more privileges. They also had more money when I was in junior high and high school. There are fewer photos of me because I didn't want to be in the photos. I was the one taking the photos - it was my passion. IF all you saw were the photos of our family and our life, you would think that I was excluded from everything because I was not in the photos. It especially drove my mother nuts as she spent hundreds of dollars on photography but had very few photographs of her only daughter. </p><p></p><p>You have excellent instincts for the most part. Follow them, but go even slower than you think you should. If there is any way at all to leave your kids at home for a weekend trip to have the first meeting, that might be the way to do this. You are exceptionally wise to realize that this young woman will need her support system near for this meeting and so will your husband. They are lucky (and blessed) to have you in their lives.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 717794, member: 1233"] I agree with going slow. I also agree that your husband will probably need some support after he meets his oldest daughter for the first time. Is there any way that you could leave the younger children at home and just you and hubby go for a long weekend trip to meet her? Then hubby could go to meet her while you stay in the hotel room or whatever, and were there when he got back from meeting her? I think having the kids there might be too much. I think it might be overwhelming for everyone. Has his daughter told you that the family treated her differently after having their biological daughter? I missed that if you posted it. Don't judge by photos alone. If you were to judge by photos alone, you would think my family didn't take me on any trips or do anything with me when I was a teen. Reality is that I went on more trips than my brother and did FAR more with my parents than he did. I was the well behaved child and got WAY more privileges. They also had more money when I was in junior high and high school. There are fewer photos of me because I didn't want to be in the photos. I was the one taking the photos - it was my passion. IF all you saw were the photos of our family and our life, you would think that I was excluded from everything because I was not in the photos. It especially drove my mother nuts as she spent hundreds of dollars on photography but had very few photographs of her only daughter. You have excellent instincts for the most part. Follow them, but go even slower than you think you should. If there is any way at all to leave your kids at home for a weekend trip to have the first meeting, that might be the way to do this. You are exceptionally wise to realize that this young woman will need her support system near for this meeting and so will your husband. They are lucky (and blessed) to have you in their lives. [/QUOTE]
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Husband has an adult child that was adopted.
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