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Parent Emeritus
I am sad and desperate and hopeless again
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 745501" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Swot. He was just thrown away as an infant. Before I found him he received no help that I am aware of. I got him services right away. He went to behavioral nursery school. He went to speech therapy. He went to therapy. I did what I knew to do.</p><p></p><p>I was writing my dissertation. I had no help.i am overwhelmed with heartache.</p><p></p><p>The problem is he wants to be in charge Thus far he has not humbled himself one bit. All my help has done is traumatized me and empowered him to smoke marijuana and do nothing to help himself .</p><p></p><p>He will say he wants to go along with the program and not do one thing.</p><p></p><p>He did respond to my 100 texts at 1:14 am. He writes something like mom? And then, Goodnight and good bye.</p><p></p><p>How very cruel.</p><p></p><p>I am finally getting that this is what I'm dealing with. But he can get help. But I can't so far make him get help.</p><p></p><p>The decision I finally see. It is to accept that he live exactly as he wants, in the other house. Which is not possible with m there. Or to permit him to come here with me and live as he wants.</p><p></p><p>Or to let him be out there and fall further and further until he is out of reach. And I don't know what that would be for him or for me.</p><p></p><p>I am heartbroken .</p><p></p><p>I had a panic attack that he would come here I was so afraid. I slept with the radio. That is the problem now. Since 5 months ago I am getting serious PTSD symptoms. It's not that I care about myself. I don't. It's that I am afraid I'll do something horrible dissociated and terrified.</p><p></p><p>I want to run away. There is nowhere to run.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 745501, member: 18958"] Swot. He was just thrown away as an infant. Before I found him he received no help that I am aware of. I got him services right away. He went to behavioral nursery school. He went to speech therapy. He went to therapy. I did what I knew to do. I was writing my dissertation. I had no help.i am overwhelmed with heartache. The problem is he wants to be in charge Thus far he has not humbled himself one bit. All my help has done is traumatized me and empowered him to smoke marijuana and do nothing to help himself . He will say he wants to go along with the program and not do one thing. He did respond to my 100 texts at 1:14 am. He writes something like mom? And then, Goodnight and good bye. How very cruel. I am finally getting that this is what I'm dealing with. But he can get help. But I can't so far make him get help. The decision I finally see. It is to accept that he live exactly as he wants, in the other house. Which is not possible with m there. Or to permit him to come here with me and live as he wants. Or to let him be out there and fall further and further until he is out of reach. And I don't know what that would be for him or for me. I am heartbroken . I had a panic attack that he would come here I was so afraid. I slept with the radio. That is the problem now. Since 5 months ago I am getting serious PTSD symptoms. It's not that I care about myself. I don't. It's that I am afraid I'll do something horrible dissociated and terrified. I want to run away. There is nowhere to run. [/QUOTE]
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