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I am sad and desperate and hopeless again
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 745602" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I do not think this is true. I know of many kids who do not use pot or drink. But though my area has a major state university and another college, it is not an upper middle class area and very culturally and racially diverse. Many students are lower middle class or poor, and religion here is not mocked. It is the backbone of the community. That and exercise. Gyms are big here.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps in upper class universities or fraternities and sororities there is more pressure to conform, and perhaps those kids feel more compelled to conform. Who knows?</p><p></p><p>I went to University in the bastion of drug and hippie culture, at UC Berkeley. But I was poor. I worked to put myself through. While I experimented a tiny bit with marijuana and a few times with other stuff, I never liked it. I was never, ever pressured or mocked. And while I was the only student in my large residence hall who had to work (I was a waitress) I was never ever teased for that, either, or made to feel lesser. Actually, I was respected. Nor do I remember anybody being pressured to use drugs.</p><p></p><p>Now. This was many years ago, I know.</p><p></p><p>I think we can scare our kids too much. I don't think fear is what helps decision-making.</p><p></p><p>I did not coach my son about drugs. I don't know why. First, as a teen he was straight and narrow. And until he was 15 or 16 he was loving and compliant. He was not attracted to people who were not kind or wholesome.</p><p></p><p>I believe in my son's case, he did become mentally ill when he was about 18 or 20, with a mood disorder.</p><p></p><p>Even so, my son has NOT turned to heavy drugs. Or to alcohol. He says straight out: I would never do that to myself. That is my bottom line.</p><p></p><p>I agree with SWOT. With bio-kids and with adopted kids, its hard let alone impossible to know what will happen. One of my sister's girls became a binge drinker. I think she even got a drunk driving charge. She was compliant and shy, and never a problem. That is how it is sometimes.</p><p></p><p>Honestly. I never believed my son would have the kind of young adulthood he has had. Call it denial. Call it stupid. But he was as sweet, happy and loving as a child could be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 745602, member: 18958"] I do not think this is true. I know of many kids who do not use pot or drink. But though my area has a major state university and another college, it is not an upper middle class area and very culturally and racially diverse. Many students are lower middle class or poor, and religion here is not mocked. It is the backbone of the community. That and exercise. Gyms are big here. Perhaps in upper class universities or fraternities and sororities there is more pressure to conform, and perhaps those kids feel more compelled to conform. Who knows? I went to University in the bastion of drug and hippie culture, at UC Berkeley. But I was poor. I worked to put myself through. While I experimented a tiny bit with marijuana and a few times with other stuff, I never liked it. I was never, ever pressured or mocked. And while I was the only student in my large residence hall who had to work (I was a waitress) I was never ever teased for that, either, or made to feel lesser. Actually, I was respected. Nor do I remember anybody being pressured to use drugs. Now. This was many years ago, I know. I think we can scare our kids too much. I don't think fear is what helps decision-making. I did not coach my son about drugs. I don't know why. First, as a teen he was straight and narrow. And until he was 15 or 16 he was loving and compliant. He was not attracted to people who were not kind or wholesome. I believe in my son's case, he did become mentally ill when he was about 18 or 20, with a mood disorder. Even so, my son has NOT turned to heavy drugs. Or to alcohol. He says straight out: I would never do that to myself. That is my bottom line. I agree with SWOT. With bio-kids and with adopted kids, its hard let alone impossible to know what will happen. One of my sister's girls became a binge drinker. I think she even got a drunk driving charge. She was compliant and shy, and never a problem. That is how it is sometimes. Honestly. I never believed my son would have the kind of young adulthood he has had. Call it denial. Call it stupid. But he was as sweet, happy and loving as a child could be. [/QUOTE]
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