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Parent Emeritus
I am sad and desperate and hopeless again
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 745675" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>My son texted me that he wanted to meet on Saturday. No sooner than I checked the train schedule, he wrote back saying it was off. That something "very bad" came up and he could not meet this month. </p><p></p><p>I am wondering if it's his conspiracy theories or real ambivalence or inability to focus on something and follow through. Or all of it.</p><p></p><p>This is destabilizing to me. This pull-push. </p><p></p><p>Maybe he experiences me this way, too. And I have to try very hard to do what you all are telling me. Let him be. Center myself in me. And not try to seek results from him.</p><p></p><p>It's so hard when I am scared and panicked, about his health, in particular. I try to handle my fear, by getting control over him. And it never, ever works. Not at all. You'd think I would learn. </p><p></p><p>My Hebrew started again and I have been unable to focus enough to begin. I feel anxious that all of a sudden it is too hard, and the technology is too hard. I will try again. I have lost my center, again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 745675, member: 18958"] My son texted me that he wanted to meet on Saturday. No sooner than I checked the train schedule, he wrote back saying it was off. That something "very bad" came up and he could not meet this month. I am wondering if it's his conspiracy theories or real ambivalence or inability to focus on something and follow through. Or all of it. This is destabilizing to me. This pull-push. Maybe he experiences me this way, too. And I have to try very hard to do what you all are telling me. Let him be. Center myself in me. And not try to seek results from him. It's so hard when I am scared and panicked, about his health, in particular. I try to handle my fear, by getting control over him. And it never, ever works. Not at all. You'd think I would learn. My Hebrew started again and I have been unable to focus enough to begin. I feel anxious that all of a sudden it is too hard, and the technology is too hard. I will try again. I have lost my center, again. [/QUOTE]
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I am sad and desperate and hopeless again
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