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Substance Abuse
I Feel Very Very Sad Today
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 748688" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Wandering and welcome back. So sorry for your need to be here. Me too, all of the above and am spent.</p><p>My two are 30 and 39. We had a revolving door of sorts for a long time, it took some years of pretty crazy stuff to accumulate to realize the insanity of it all. One daughter uses the term unconditional love, meaning she can do all sorts of awful stuff, and I should run to her aid, or allow her to live with us, no matter what."I need <em>unconditional love</em>, Mom, you don't love me the way I need you to."</p><p>Sorry, not sorry, been there, done that, go to a rehab, straighten your life out.</p><p>You have been through the wringer, W, I mean my two can barely mouth the word rehab. I can't imagine the hardship of watching and paying for rehab then sober living only to have them relapse and go right back into it. That is painful.</p><p></p><p>We tried to intervene with my eldest a few weeks ago, after hearing she was hospitalized with sepsis, then refused to stay for the recommended treatment. (Her father passed three years ago fighting sepsis). I hugged her and told her I did not want her to die. She said "I've made my choice."</p><p>That rattled me, and made me sad, mad, threw me off balance.</p><p>But, it is a stark reminder that my adult children will choose as they wish and there is not much I can do about it.</p><p></p><p>Wholeheartedly agree.</p><p>I think the very best thing we can do for our adult kids is to lead by example. Show them the importance of loving and caring for themselves, by taking good care of <em>ourselves</em>. Embrace your feelings and let the sadness flow through you as long as you need to. Then, figure out what you need to do to strengthen your armor to live the best rest of your life. That’s not selfish, it’s self love, which is, after all is said and done what we want for our adult children, to find their true potential, love life, and <em>themselves</em>. That’s not up to us, it is up to them to figure out that drugs are not worth the heavy price they pay. </p><p>Wishing you peace on this Memorial Day and each precious day to come. </p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 748688, member: 19522"] Hi Wandering and welcome back. So sorry for your need to be here. Me too, all of the above and am spent. My two are 30 and 39. We had a revolving door of sorts for a long time, it took some years of pretty crazy stuff to accumulate to realize the insanity of it all. One daughter uses the term unconditional love, meaning she can do all sorts of awful stuff, and I should run to her aid, or allow her to live with us, no matter what."I need [I]unconditional love[/I], Mom, you don't love me the way I need you to." Sorry, not sorry, been there, done that, go to a rehab, straighten your life out. You have been through the wringer, W, I mean my two can barely mouth the word rehab. I can't imagine the hardship of watching and paying for rehab then sober living only to have them relapse and go right back into it. That is painful. We tried to intervene with my eldest a few weeks ago, after hearing she was hospitalized with sepsis, then refused to stay for the recommended treatment. (Her father passed three years ago fighting sepsis). I hugged her and told her I did not want her to die. She said "I've made my choice." That rattled me, and made me sad, mad, threw me off balance. But, it is a stark reminder that my adult children will choose as they wish and there is not much I can do about it. Wholeheartedly agree. I think the very best thing we can do for our adult kids is to lead by example. Show them the importance of loving and caring for themselves, by taking good care of [I]ourselves[/I]. Embrace your feelings and let the sadness flow through you as long as you need to. Then, figure out what you need to do to strengthen your armor to live the best rest of your life. That’s not selfish, it’s self love, which is, after all is said and done what we want for our adult children, to find their true potential, love life, and [I]themselves[/I]. That’s not up to us, it is up to them to figure out that drugs are not worth the heavy price they pay. Wishing you peace on this Memorial Day and each precious day to come. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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