I am not a new member. But i haven't been here in four years and couldn't figure our my username or email i used. Hence, it felt easier to start as a newbie. The child that has brought me back is a 26 year old son, turning 27 in June. I am a single mother who did everything within my power to raise a responsible and sensible man. But that dream never came to be. My son started innocently with weed, graduated to opiates a few years later, and now is using cocaine. The first time i signed up here for help was in 2012, desperate to find support to deal with son. Since then, he has been arrested five times and spent close to three years in jail. He has been to rehab three times and successfully finished stints at sober living twice only to relapse once he was living alone. Through all this, i have spent thousands of dollars. The last rehab stay was in 2016 three hours away from home. He finished two months and proceeded to sober living. In early 2017, he relapsed. I refused to help him unless he sought help and didn't talk to him or assist him in any way for two months, while he stayed in shelters and a friend's car. Towards the end of march, he was arrested in a gas station after somebody who observed him sleeping in the car right in front of a gas pump called the cops. He was under the influence of drugs and had fallen asleep after getting gas. Unfortunately for son, he is a legal permanent resident of the country but because of a prior drug charge he had violated his status, and the police called immigration on him. He was transferred to another state waiting to be deported. Meanwhile, i had been attending a parents' support meeting in my area around this time. When i talked about my son's trouble, many encouraged me to help him obtain an immigration attorney to help him stay in the country thinking that would be for the best. I also felt bad about the finality of him never staying here long enough to realize sobriety. Should have cut my loses then. But i helped him fight and 15 months after being in detention he was released and his deportation terminated. That was July 1st last year. When he came home, a friend of his lent him an old car to enable him work as a pizza delivery driver while he worked on a union apprenticeship. He was supposed to pay some money every week which would go to the car loan. That he did for a few months and contributed some money to the house - he was staying with me waiting to move to his place once he had saved enough (i was also putting away what he gave me to help him when he was ready). Sadly, the allure of drugs was too strong for him especially with the readily available cash. In March of this year, he started smoking weed and cigarettes. Slowly, that led to opiates and finally cocaine. He was able to work and hide it but i suspected something was going on. First he missed the deadline for the union apprenticeship exam because he forgot to pay on time. Then he started coming home late at night even on the days he wasn't working late. Then three weeks ago, i confronted him and he came clean. He said he had a plan to detox then seek help. Instead, he disappeared for a week and came almost two weeks ago looking very sick. We agreed he would go to detox the following day. That took almost four days because he wouldn't get up early to call for a bed. The Friday before last, he found a place. The following Tuesday, he called an ambulance because apparently, the dose they gave him was making him very sick. They kicked him out. The same day, he found a bed in another facility. Yesterday, he finished detox but instead of waiting for an inpatient bed there, he self discharged. Before this, we had agreed that he would go to teen challenge once he was finished with detox. However, one of the clients at detox had been to teen challenge and left after six months. He told my son that the program entails reading the bible and praying from morning to night and that didn't appeal to son. When i went home yesterday at 4pm he was waiting for me down the street. We agreed that i would let him in on condition that he would go to another treatment place this morning. This morning he refused to go and packed some clothes and left - to go "figure out his life." Well, i really did try my all. I enabled, detached, enabled again, helped, supported, talked tough, bawled out, wasted thousands of dollars, and nothing helped. He will 27 be in a week. I am spent!