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I HATE MONEY
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 631509" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>And now we've moved to email: </p><p> </p><p><em>I'm sorry for everything. You don't deserve to have me vent at you the way I do, especially when working. You aren't responsible for any of my lifes problems and I know that, and I don't mean to "blow off" any suggestion you make, but I've tried so much, and nothing works. There are few things in life I enjoy doing on a regular basis. Hanging with friends, gaming, ect, theres only so much I can actually do and when Im unable to occupy my time in a way that I feel comfortable and enjoy doing its very upsetting. And with my moods, as well as yours and dads, you should know its very hard for me to take my mind off things. I'm aware I messed up the month I've been here and I deserve what has happened, but its been harder than ever on me being back here again. Having nobody to talk to, nobody to hang with, annoying internet data (lol), and not being able to use the car is a very VERY drastic change from my time in west plains. Even before I moved, I had friends, I could game/stream whenever, I had use of the car, and now almost everything is the complete opposite. I've spent this week applying to places online through craigslist because honestly, I want and need a job that I don't mind doing and/or makes use of my skill set and its upsetting knowing that even with my extensive computer literacy I can't get an email from almost anyone, which upsets me more. So, I've been doing all I can to be on better terms, be a better son, and to make myself happier, but almost everything I've had going is more or less gone. Im aware I need to be patient, and Ive been better on that since this week has started. I've been not asking for money even though I'm broke (J**n can only pay so much and I've been trying to help pay J****d because he's basically out on the streets) and I've done chores and things around the house as you ask, ect. I know its only been a week too, but its already felt like I've been here for an eternity having no friends and nothing fun to go out and do. Part of my problem I guess is that I get the idea that I "need" money sometimes, but other times its that I can't go out and do anything I want without it. Hell, if I had use of the car or some pocket cash, I could go and find someone to hang with or something to do, but that isn't the case because almost everything nowadays requires some form of payment. I've barked up this tree thousands of times before, but the tiniest budget would make a world of difference. When you guys put gas in the car, buy cigarettes for me, ect it makes me feel guilty that I can't do it on my own, and while it'd be the same basic thing if I we're paying with money you gave me, I feel completely helpless whenever you guys do so while I'm just waiting for replies from business that very well may never come, but thats just me being a downer. I don't expect you to pay attention to the last half of this talking about money or the car or anything, nor do I expect anything to change. I know I've said it a thousand times before, but I am truly sorry for all that I have done.</em></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 631509, member: 17309"] And now we've moved to email: [I]I'm sorry for everything. You don't deserve to have me vent at you the way I do, especially when working. You aren't responsible for any of my lifes problems and I know that, and I don't mean to "blow off" any suggestion you make, but I've tried so much, and nothing works. There are few things in life I enjoy doing on a regular basis. Hanging with friends, gaming, ect, theres only so much I can actually do and when Im unable to occupy my time in a way that I feel comfortable and enjoy doing its very upsetting. And with my moods, as well as yours and dads, you should know its very hard for me to take my mind off things. I'm aware I messed up the month I've been here and I deserve what has happened, but its been harder than ever on me being back here again. Having nobody to talk to, nobody to hang with, annoying internet data (lol), and not being able to use the car is a very VERY drastic change from my time in west plains. Even before I moved, I had friends, I could game/stream whenever, I had use of the car, and now almost everything is the complete opposite. I've spent this week applying to places online through craigslist because honestly, I want and need a job that I don't mind doing and/or makes use of my skill set and its upsetting knowing that even with my extensive computer literacy I can't get an email from almost anyone, which upsets me more. So, I've been doing all I can to be on better terms, be a better son, and to make myself happier, but almost everything I've had going is more or less gone. Im aware I need to be patient, and Ive been better on that since this week has started. I've been not asking for money even though I'm broke (J**n can only pay so much and I've been trying to help pay J****d because he's basically out on the streets) and I've done chores and things around the house as you ask, ect. I know its only been a week too, but its already felt like I've been here for an eternity having no friends and nothing fun to go out and do. Part of my problem I guess is that I get the idea that I "need" money sometimes, but other times its that I can't go out and do anything I want without it. Hell, if I had use of the car or some pocket cash, I could go and find someone to hang with or something to do, but that isn't the case because almost everything nowadays requires some form of payment. I've barked up this tree thousands of times before, but the tiniest budget would make a world of difference. When you guys put gas in the car, buy cigarettes for me, ect it makes me feel guilty that I can't do it on my own, and while it'd be the same basic thing if I we're paying with money you gave me, I feel completely helpless whenever you guys do so while I'm just waiting for replies from business that very well may never come, but thats just me being a downer. I don't expect you to pay attention to the last half of this talking about money or the car or anything, nor do I expect anything to change. I know I've said it a thousand times before, but I am truly sorry for all that I have done.[/I] [/QUOTE]
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