I have a mean cursing difficult child - I want to run away

[Mayapple5]

This is to Stella - and the rest - I can really relate also. My difficult child 2 is only 5.5. She doesn't know any cuss words, thank God, but boy can she throw "I hate you" around and "I never want to talk you again", stuff like that. She throws anything within reach, too. The other day she picked up the TV remote and it hit a glass cabinet, it chipped the glass and both batteries came flying out of the remote! I flipped my lid. It's so hard for me to keep myself under control all the time. Oh, yes I spank or if she has thrown a shoe I'll slap her hand, If she has yelled I'll gently slap her face. I don't beat her or anything but there are so many times I reach my limit with her. THEN there is the guilt of what I have done, and I can hardly live with myself! I become depressed and cry myself to sleep at night. When I put her to bed all I want to do is hold her, rock her and pet her and tell her mommy is sorry, and she will tell me the same. I get so full of shame for my behavior, for how am I to be a roll model when I lose it?

There are times that I dobt if I'm the best mom for this child, that's how bad I get! But I know she was brought to us for a reason and I really have to get a handle on this and deal with my own inadequacies and let things slide and know she is angry about something and get to the bottom of her anger and not make things worse by sliding my issues in on top or hers. I have to focus on her and what it really bothering her, it's all about her, not me.

 

[jal]

Our difficult child is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-Aspergers and we have dealt with-the "I hate you" (constant, the throwing of things and the ODD. He is only 6.5 and we have just recently had GREAT success with-the introduction of 10mg of prozac. The "I hate you's" and ODD are gone and he is much happier. Before there was just so much anger and frustration. I have wanted to run away too. I think we have all felt that way at one point or another. It sounds like it may be time for another evaluation and slight medication tweak. Our difficult child did somewhat OK on Abilify, but he could never get past 7.5mg, if he did he got very agitated and physical. Good luck to you.

 

[Stella]

Mayapple - I was nearly crying reading your post. I could have written that EXACT post myself. I think we just need to keep trying our very best to stay calm and not beat ourselves up too much when we do lose the rag. Just pick ourselves up and start again, trying our best to keep our cool under immense stress and strain...

Jal - If only i could get my difficult child to take some Prozac, even just for a short while so she can see what is like not to be so wound up and angry all the time,...I really think it would help her...*sigh*

Sorry MICHL - didn't mean to highjack your thread lol....

 

[Steely]

I am sorry Michelle, I was not very clear with my question.

I guess what I was asking is have you had your son tested by a Neuro psychiatric, and been given a clear diagnosis for what your son is dealing with.

Here is why I ask:

According to the Yale Developmental Disabilities Clinic, treating children with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified could prove tricky: Sometimes, they may not get the help they need as quickly as those whose behavioral patterns are more clearly definable as autistic. Healthcare providers may not provide a diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified until after they've considered all the other "types" of autism; in short, they may arrive at their conclusion after essentially a process of elimination.

If you have not had the testing done, I would strongly encourage you to - as it would give the doctors you are working with more tools to help him - maybe a more definitive diagnosis - and lead you down the road to better, more qualified doctors.

 

[klmno]

Good point, Steely- it should also help pinpoint specific areas that need addressing and offer insights as to exatly what type of interventions might be more effective.

 

[MICHL]

Hi Steely, yes he's had many assessments. One was a multidisciplinary one at a center that lasted 4-5 days. They did a lot of testing, observation, etc, and Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/not otherwise specified, ODD & ADD were the main diagnoses. School has done many evaluations also. He gets many services at school, speech, Occupational Therapist (OT), etc, and is in the right setting. difficult child gets weekling counseling & Social group at school also. Counseling doesn't really work with him though, it seems. He can be very outgoing, but it's sort of like "through his eyes" he doesn't have a lot of empathy, or my way or the highway, when talking with him, and is not really good with eye contact.